Deviating from the Norm
by GoatEatingToilet
Summary: If you asked me a few months ago, I would have told you I'd never be caught dead hanging out with the freaks. Lots of things can change in a couple of months, though… lots of things. Falling for one, though? No one could have predicted that. (OC POV story, starts before episode 1. AU. Rated T for language, drug use/references and sexual situations.)
1. Chapter 1 - Sticks and Stones

_Disclaimer: I did not create nor do I own any of the music referenced or characters used in this story (except Donovan Matsen). No copyright infringement is intended._

_Author's Note: I apologize in advance if I do a horrible job of capturing the personalities of the original characters correctly. I have a somewhat bad habit of reforming predesigned characters to my own style when writing about them. This is also my first real attempt at writing in first person (I'm far more comfortable writing in third person), so forgive the awkwardness if I absentmindedly switch to third person every now and then. Lastly, I tend to make my stories dialogue heavy._

_I plan on trying to upload at least one chapter a month. Life is too hectic for anything more than that, though._

**_Adding this for the sake of clarity: Chapter 1 takes place *BEFORE* episode 1 of the show. Chapter 2 is where the show starts._**

**Chapter 1 – "Sticks and stones…"**

* * *

Another day at McKinley High… another abhorred, monotonous school day. I leaned back against the chain-link fence, cracking a few of the weather-worn plastic slats that had been placed in it decades ago as a privacy measure. The school board members knew kids smoked in the patio area and trying to stop it would be like pulling teeth, so they decided to at least try to hide it. I guess they figured they had a better shot of smokers going back to classes if they were still on school grounds instead of being forced to leave them for their nicotine. I stared out in front of me, watching my "friends" joke around and take a drag off a cigarette every now and then. I use the term "friends" loosely but with love, because if you asked me a few months ago, I would have told you I'd never be caught dead hanging out with the freaks. Lots of things can change in a couple of months, though… lots of things.

* * *

I wasn't formally welcomed or initiated into the group, not at first, but I guess there is a bit of hesitation in telling the 6'1" former defensive tackle of the McKinley Norsemen to take a hike. I started hanging around the patio just to get away from anyone who would want to talk to me, just so I could be by myself in a group of people who didn't want to know me anyway. I wasn't like any of the people who hung out there at all. I didn't wear band t-shirts, just plain old boring ones. I sometimes donned my jersey and letterman jacket, but I have retired those articles. I didn't have long or greasy hair. I had short, black, wavey hair. I didn't like to let it grow too long, because my afro generally looked very Albert Einstein-ish (I am the product of mixed-race parents. My mother being African-American and my father Caucasian. I came out with a skin-tone that looked like I had a really good year-round tan as a result). Hell, I didn't even like cigarettes thanks to growing up in a household with two chain-smokers. I was trying to be a recluse, but I had good reason. It wasn't until one of my new friends, Nick Andopolis, sparked up a conversation with me that I actually exited my shell a little. Well, it started out as Kim Kelly's attempt to press my buttons, but it grew into a conversation.

"What's with the meathead in the corner?" Kim said to the rest of the group, but made sure she spoke loud enough for her taunt to be heard by me. "It's like, who the hell invited him back here?"

"Keep it down, loudmouth," her boyfriend, Daniel, hissed through gritted teeth, giving her a look like she was playing with fire.

Aside from that, none of the clique replied to her questions. As far as I could tell, they were all avidly trying to avoid even the temptation of looking my way.

"I thought I would try hanging out with the cool kids for a change," I called back flatly with a quick, fake smile before turning my gaze back down to the notebook I had been scribbling in. _Shit. I shouldn't have said anything,_ I thought to myself. _Now they'll notice me more than ever._

I couldn't help myself, it seemed. One snappy attitude deserved another. Honestly, though, the girl and I even shared a current class together and she had no idea who I was?

Daniel released a genuine, yet small laugh and turned his head my way. The guy had one hell of a smile and it was hard to tell if he was trying to be nice or just vindictive with it sometimes.

"Whatever," Kim said, rolling her eyes. "Did your teammates realize you suck or something and banish you to our little corner?"

_Sticks and stones,_ I told myself. _Sticks and stones… _What the hell? Had I mistakenly stepped on the estrogen button or something?

Now Ken turned his attention towards me as well. "Uh, Kim, that's Donovan Matsen. He's that guy who put that other football player in a co-"

He stopped talking when I abruptly raised my head and gave him a cold, hard stare. His mouth was still ajar and he looked like he was just expecting some sort of retaliation. This was exactly why I quit the team, why I started frequenting this place: to get away from what happened.

Three weeks ago, during the first game of the season when we were unlucky enough to be going up against the Wellington High Jaguars, I tackled Tommy Addler. It might not sound like much when I just put it out there like that, especially considering that that is specifically what I am supposed to do for the team, but when I mention that Tommy is a legend not just in his school but also in almost any other through the region with a football team, it may take on a more significant light. The kid started out as nothing, people couldn't even be bothered to remember his name, left alone give him respect. When he got ahold of the ball for the first time though, all of that changed. During mid-season of his freshman year, he made a wild interception from out of nowhere… just jumped up high into the air like he was a goddamn grasshopper or something, caught the football as if it was second nature and, as soon as his feet hit the ground again, he took off running like a bolt of lightning. He did this two other times before the game year played out. Tommy was pretty much fast-tracked to quarterback during his sophomore year and had led the Jaguars to their first-ever state championship. The kid was a prodigy and a machine all in one and, from all the rumors going around, it sounded like he was bound and determined to take his team to the finals once again.

He had a target on his back; that was for sure. There were plenty of players on other teams that were full of jealousy, or simply wanted to make a name for themselves as the one who stopped Addler. I fell loosely into the second category. The damn kid was so fast that he hardly ever got tackled, and if he did it was just barely. He got away from me on three separate occasions last year, so my sole objective during the entirety of that game was simply to grab the little shit. It wasn't for recognition or bragging rights, though I would have been sure to take full advantage of those if I pulled it off, but simply because I knew I could do it. It was something that was ingrained in my system. I had been playing a defensive tackle position since I was 12 and I grew to love it and crave the high it provided whenever I smashed into another person and took the wind out of their lungs and made their feet fly into the air.

When the opportunity presented itself and Tommy was left out in the open, I lunged forward just as the star quarterback caught the football (yes, it was another Goddamn interception) and began to make pace with it. I wanted to make it as spectacular as any touchdown the Jaguar rival could pull off and collided into him with all of my might, crashing both of us into the ground. There was a buzz in my head as the rush of adrenaline ran through my body. I laid on my back, listening to half of the crowd cheer and the other half boo. Even though the Jaguars were undoubtedly going to keep their 14 point lead and win, this would be the highlight of the game for sure. I laughed to myself, my chest heaving up and down vigorously, as players from both teams huddled around us. There was no denying it, I was proud… I was damn proud! My friends helped me to my feet and I even received a few congratulatory pats on the back. I turned around to see how pissed off Tommy was, maybe even shoot him a taunting smile that read "I got you," but there was one problem… Tommy Addler was not getting up.

I had broken other player's collarbones and given them various other sprains, pains and bruises with my hard hits (tackling the shit out of someone was just my thing on the field), but I had never put anyone in a coma… not until that day at least.

Life kinda stopped being the same for me at that moment. I had never realized the impact I could make on someone's life with just a display of brute strength and cockiness, and I certainly didn't want to be the reason why someone never woke up again. Lucky for me, Tommy did wake up, just over a week later and the doctors expect him to make a full recovery and rejoin his teammates on the field sometime later. I, however, did not recover so well and decided to drop out altogether. I was never like this before football… I never wanted to hurt someone or win at any cost. The results of what I was becoming scared me enough to realize I needed to distance myself before there was another incident.

My parents are split on the issue, with my mother being understanding and my father being disappointed in me. He had aspirations of me riding into college on a football scholarship, being spotted at a game and going pro. It was the second time I disappointed him with a big decision… the first one actually being that I joined the football team in the first place. Before that, he wanted me to study business or something so I could master the stock market. He likes to say it is the smart way to get rich.

Add to all of that the fact that the Addler family is considering filing a lawsuit and you can see why I just wanted the world to forget about me.

Kim's jaw dropped upon the realization of who I actually was. "Oh, shit. You're that guy?"

I didn't reply… I was too ashamed to. I simply looked at my notebook once again and hoped they would just start ignoring me once more.

They were mumbling amongst themselves now, undoubtedly about me. I noticed a shadow approaching, but did not raise my head up to see who it belonged to.

"Come on, leave him alone, Nick," Daniel commanded, watching his friend walk toward me.

Seemingly ignoring his call, I heard Nick say "Hey, man," as his shadow nearly consumed me.

I looked up, trying to appear as indifferent as ever. The guy was tall, had to be taller than me, or at least it looked that way from where I was sitting. He took a seat beside me.

"Hey, I just wanted to say that I know how it feels to lose the friendship of a team."

I was puzzled. What did he mean? I didn't remember him being in football at all, or even… oh, wait. Basketball. That's right, he was one of the up and comers on the basketball team until he was caught with a bag of marijuana in his locker. When was that, anyway? Oh well, it didn't matter... that kinda thing would nix anyone's future prospects in sports.

"I mean, we are not in sports anymore for totally different reasons, but I still know how it feels to have that teammate friendship and lose it all at once."

Poor Nick. I felt bad for him in that moment, because the guy really looked like he was lamenting what he had lost, or at least those who he had. While his exile came from within the team, mine was self-imposed. I was still friends with most of my former teammates and spoke to them every now and then. They usually wanted to talk sports and, sooner or later, the conversation would turn to me coming back. That was something I simply was not interested in so it was just far easier to avoid talking to most of them for any great length of time.

He looked at me solemnly for a second and then cracked a slight smile. "Hey, I got an idea." His slight smile turned into a full-on goofy grin. "Why don't you come over and sit with us? You seem like a cool guy and it feels good to get in with a new group. Trust me, we don't bite."

My first instinct was just to say thanks but no thanks and ignore him, but he seemed so certain about what he said and, honestly, I was jonesing for some people to just talk to. As it turned out, I made for a pretty pathetic hermit.

"You sure?" I asked with a slight smile of my own. "Even Blondie over there?"

The three guys broke out in laughter, with Ken commenting, "He already knows your nickname, Kim."

She glared at me irritably through squinted eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. If looks could kill I would have been six feet under by that point.

She simply stated "Screw you," under her breath before turning and walking away without another word.

"She, uh, really doesn't like me," I stated, scratching the back of my head as Nick and I made our way to the others.

Daniel shook his head, "Nah, don't worry about it. She just gets like that sometimes. It's like, we've been going out for two years, right? But there're still days when I could swear she hates me."

The trio laughed, his two friends actually nodding their heads in agreement. I took a seat and started talking with them. We discussed a lot of random stuff in just a matter of minutes. Sure, most of it was just about movies and music, but it was nice to talk with some of my peers about _anything_ other than sports. I could tell they were all just itching to bring up the subject of the Addler tackle, but it seemed as if they gauged my earlier reaction to it with the correct amount of caution and stayed away from the subject entirely.

Things continued to get better and better between all of us over the next couple of days, and after only a week of knowing each other, we were all friends. Even Kim had come around to liking me. I was honestly surprised with how well and quickly we all got along, especially considering that I came from a clique that the freaks absolutely hated. Either I was totally desperate for some human interaction, or I had run into a good bunch of people. I was hopeful for the latter.


	2. Chapter 2 - And then there were six

_Author's Note: Subtle timeline shift, if anyone happens to catch it._

**Chapter 2 – "And then there were six…"**

* * *

We'd hang out everywhere. The patio, the park, random parking lots, Nick's house… we would hang out in the basement a lot there, actually. We'd also hang out behind, or even in, the outdoor bleachers at school. They were right next to the football field and I really hated being there. It wasn't just the unpleasant feeling they brought on, but also because I could barely fit my large, tall frame in-between the mass mess of woven, zig-zagging metal bars that held the whole contraption together. I had no idea how Nick managed to seamlessly navigate the area considering I conked my head at least once every time we went near the damn place.

It wasn't long after my arrival, just a little into October as a matter of fact, that yet another soul was introduced to the pack. Ken, Nick and I were hangout out at the patio, goofing off and having fun, when I noticed Daniel making his way towards us with a brunette-haired girl in tow. He asked one of the other people there if they had the M-80s they had promised him and I watched as the brunette, who was wearing a pale green army jacket that was at least two times too big for her, stopped and stared undecidedly at the surroundings in front of her. It was almost as if she was about to dive off a cliff into the fog below and considered taking a step back. She shook it off a moment later and continued to follow behind Daniel.

"You guys know Lindsay?" he said in a half-introductory, half-questioning tone.

She raised her hand up briefly and said 'Hi' in a barely audible voice. Her face spread into a big smile that looked more nervous than genuine. Nick recognized her right away and jogged my memory of her in the process. She was a smart girl, a mathlete or something like that. She was dressed way differently than I had ever seen her before, though. I introduced myself and her face lit up for a moment.

"Oh yeah! You're that football player!" she began, but was cut short when Daniel nudged her slightly and shook his head, implying she should stop there.

As the conversation continued, things kept getting more and more awkward. By the time her friend arrived and she embarrassingly rushed towards her to shoo her away, I couldn't take anymore. It was like when characters in a TV show or movie are involved in something that makes you feel so uncomfortable for them you have to pause it or change the channel for a second until you compose yourself again… only I couldn't do that in real life, so I just left the patio. I saw Ken trailing behind me a ways and I was going to slow down so he could catch up when he just disappeared into one of the classrooms nearby. I didn't have any idea what he was up, but knowing the group I was with, it wasn't anything good.

* * *

Lunch was almost over and I wanted to try to find Kim before we ran out of time to swap solutions. We had math together for our next class and neither of us were too fond of it in general. Over the past week, we had compared our incomplete homework assignments and managed to fill them in a bit more by taking answers from one another… even if it was a 50/50 shot of them being right. It was the only subject in school that literally made my head hurt. The less I had to think about it, the better. Since dropping football, I had to actually study to keep my grades up. Math was the only one where I was struggling, though.

I finally found her hanging out next to her locker talking to Karen Scarfolli.

"Goddamnit," I muttered to myself as I gained the attention of Kim's friend. I _hated_ Karen Scarfolli, and that is a pretty strong word to use as a general feeling for someone, but Karen was very deserving of it. She was one of those people who went out of her way to be a complete bitch to anyone who she didn't consider a friend. From all appearances, she was fearless too, not giving two shits whose face she got in or for what reason.

"Oh look, it's a used jockstrap," she said, motioning her head towards me.

"Oh look, it's a…" Suddenly I went blank in an attempt at a witty response. My eyes shot from side to side rapidly as my brain tried to come up with something… anything. They were just looking at me. This was embarrassing. "Oh, fuck it;" I finally recovered in a nonchalant tone, "you're a bitch."

There must have been something about the way I said it, because Kim burst out into a fit of laughter that served to only further enrage her friend. Karen gave me the same deadly look Kim had two weeks earlier. I could see she had trained her well. The two were part of a larger group that consisted of, well, female bullies. It was a chaotic and sporadic assembly of girls who usually came from broken homes and were seeking an unwilling human outlet for their pent up rage. With the constant infighting and bickering, no one knew who was really in or out of the club anymore and it just seemed to have a revolving door feel to it. Regardless, Kim considered herself the leader of the girls, even if the self-appointed title was not very near and dear to her heart.

"Laugh it up, Kim," Karen said disgustedly, "'cause what goes around comes around."

_You should be all over the place, then,_ my voice murmured in my head.

Kim shook her head slightly, still laughing, "Oh but Karen, you _really are_ a bitch."

"What's with you? We make fun of jocks like this. Now you're hanging out with one?" Her face was still holding the twisted look as she eyed her friend.

"Come on," Kim breathed, appearing to quickly grow tired of the back and forth. "He's not like those guys anymore. Right, Matsen?"

I grimaced, slightly annoyed that she called me by my last name. I quickly learned that she had an annoying habit of calling her friends by their last name when she was annoyed with something. I guess I should count myself as lucky that she calls me by the entirety of my first name instead of just "Don"… I feel so old when people call me that.

She glanced back at me with a look of expectation about her.

"Uh…" I shrugged my shoulders, "I guess?" I wasn't really sure how to answer, which is why it came out as a question more than anything. I mean, I didn't _feel_ any different than when I was hanging out with my teammates. Was I acting different? I didn't think so. I was just being myself around my new friends, which felt really great, honestly. Nick was very correct in how good it felt to get involved with a new group.

Kim glared at me for a fleeting moment before turning her attention back to Karen. Seemingly my answer was not entirely satisfactory for her. As it turned out, none of it really mattered. Karen let out a huff of disinterest and left almost immediately after my response. Kim didn't even bother to call out to her, instead whipping her head back my way.

"So, I'm cutting math. I didn't do any of the homework last night and I'm really not in the mood for mind-numbing numbers. You wanna come?"

"Come where?"

"I dunno!" Her face tensed up in a slight fit of exasperation. "Just anywhere but here."

I thought about it for a moment before agreeing. At least that made her smile a little.

* * *

We continued on our way, turning into the main hall as the crowd of students began to swell, each anticipating the bell that would signal the start of the next class. It didn't take much effort to spot our band of misfits in the distance… they were the only ones standing in the middle of the hall and not moving.

"We're cutting," Kim interrupted without concern as she barged into whatever conversation our friends were having without us. "Who's got gum?"

Everyone started digging around, as if they all had some sort of secret stash of gum on-hand that I didn't know we were all supposed to be carrying. Ken pulled a mangled, yet at least wrapped, piece of Wrigley's Doublemint Chewing Gum from his back pocket and held it up to her like it was the grand finale of a superb magic trick.

"Ta-dah! I just pulled a piece of gum out of my butt!" I imagined him deadpanning and swallowed a laugh before it erupted.

She approached him with a look of ridicule on her face and in her tone. "Oh yeah. That-That's real great, ya know. Why don't you blow your nose in some bread and make me a sandwich, too?"

Lindsay and I both snorted out a laugh. I couldn't help it that time. She had a point. How could a snot sandwich be any worse (or better) than fart-flavored gum? Ken's gas was far from bearable. I would go as far as to say it was just a notch below mustard gas and classify it as an inhalation hazard. Judging from his response, this was not the first time someone had lashed out at him recently. Nick leaned over and whispered that Ken had provided an answer-less chemistry exam to Daniel just moments earlier.

_So that explains why he was sneaking into a classroom._

"Hey, Kim," Lindsay suddenly called out, "I got some."

She quickly turned around and sized up the newcomer with an up and down glare. There was nothing but disappointment written all over Blondie's face as she realized we had another member.

"What's she doing here?" She narrowed her cold gaze on Daniel. Somehow she knew he was behind bringing in a new girl.

The conversation started steering down awkward lane again and I could just feel myself itching to hit the pause button. Daniel tried to explain that Lindsay was "our" friend, but Kim was having none of it. It was as if this was her initiation process and she wanted to test the waters to see just how far and quickly she could push a person. She tore into Lindsay with a passion, almost as if the girl had done her a great injustice in the past and it was time for retribution. There was a strenuous silence as Kim backed Lindsay into a corner with their words and she had no idea how to reply to her. Then again, when she was on the warpath, Kim had that kind of power. Her sheer determination to just be mean gave her tongue a sharp edge that would slice you in two if you weren't careful. She glanced up at me, her face reading that she wasn't done yet.

"You know what, I'm sorry." She showed no signs of sincerity with her words. "Let's be friends."

Kim quickly clutched the bottom of Lindsay's bag and turned it upside down, raining its contents all over the floor. I was starting to reconsider my impromptu outing with Ms. Kelly now. I didn't want to end up the target of her rage when she was done with Lindsay, though. It was kind of funny when I thought about it that way: a 6'1" man built like a brick shithouse being scared of a 5'6" woman with attitude.

"There. Now we're friends. See you at the mall," Kim continued to mock.

"What are you… on your period?" Daniel asked, both astonished and slightly embarrassed at how his girlfriend was treating his new friend.

"Hey, if you wanna hang around with your little poser friend here and pretend with her, that's your waste of time,"

Daniel tried to divert her attention by lightly tugging on Kim's long, blonde hair, wearing that enigmatic smile of his.

"Just keep her the hell away from me!" Kim finished, pushing past her boyfriend and latching onto my arm, pulling me away with her. I guess I was cutting after all, whether I wanted to or not.

* * *

I was slightly embarrassed to drive Kim around in my 1972 Dodge Challenger 340 Rallye. I had no doubt that I looked like a spoiled rich kid when I was driving around in it, but nothing could have been further from the truth. I don't know why I cared. I mean, if she was truly my friend, me having a nice car wouldn't start to plant seeds of doubt in her mind. She seemed to be distracted and not really in the mood to give a shit anyway. It was a beautiful black on black-TX9 color that I had painstakingly tried to keep in mint condition ever since my cousin sold it to me. When I asked him where he got it, he simply said it was through a friend of a friend of a friend and I knew to stop asking questions after that. Things were gonna get shady if I kept digging deeper. It was a miracle I could keep it as untarnished and rust-free as I had considering there tended to be more salt on the roads than actual snow in Chippewah.

We went to Stackey's, even though lunch had just ended. I don't know where she was during the majority of it, but the cowboy macaroni they were offering in the cafeteria today was nothing more than a mash up of leftovers. The mac and cheese from Monday, ripped up left over hamburger patties from Tuesday, tomato soup from yesterday and a mix of corn and onions from God knows when. All of it made my stomach turn instead of yearn.

Using my superior skills of deduction (haha), I guessed that Kim decided to pass on lunch when she ordered the same meal I did. A full stack. A classic Stackey's cheeseburger along with a large fry and a large drink.

It was a surprisingly warm and sunny day for being October and we decided to eat at one of the outside tables. The wind played up every now and then and would blow a clump of Kim's hair around until she corralled it back into place. Each time it happened, I couldn't help but think she would make a perfect subject for my photography habit. Each of my new friends would, really. I liked to take pictures of people in their natural state, timing it just right so I could catch their raw emotions in the image with them. I had not told any of the gang that I had a picture taking obsession. Hell, I hardly told any of my old teammates about it. It was kind of my little secret, but only because I was so unsure of if it was something I was actually interested in or if it was just a passing phase. The constant negativity my father put towards it didn't help matters either.

In a spaced-out moment I mentioned a passage I remembered from a book that seemed fitting to the situation we were currently in. "And then there were six…"

"What?" Kim questioned, peering at me like I had just spoke a foreign language.

Embarrassingly I shook my head, explaining I was quoting a line from Agatha Christie's _And Then There Were None_. She continued to look at me blankly and I decided to simply forgo the whole explanation and simply state that I was talking about how our little family of weirdoes grew from four to six in a matter of weeks. It was probably better that way seeing as how the song the book was titled after was incredibly racist anyway. I had unwittingly sparked a dying ember on the Lindsay fire and the whole thing exploded again.

"God! Who the hell does she think she is, anyway?" Kim spat out, lightly spraying the table with bits of food as she talked with her mouth full. "Oops," she whispered a moment later.

I just decided to keep chewing my food and try to avoid getting into it with her... she was damn determined though.

"I mean everything I said back there was true, you know? She's just some stupid, rich, brainy kid who wants to piss off her parents in some lame attempt at rebellion and ditch her old friends for cooler ones. She'd only be using us, ya know? If we let her in, she'll just leave us for the next rung on the social ladder as soon as she can."

I never had any idea Kim could be so articulate when she was angry… or that she could become so paranoid.

"She's not like you. If anything, you went down in popularity when you started hanging out with us. That's how I knew you weren't pulling some stunt or trying to screw us all over. You stuck around even at the cost of your standing."

"And what about the other stuff? I teased, trying to move on from talk of me. "Do you really shoplift from her dad's store or were you just trying to get under her skin?"

She looked at me and scoffed before swallowing the batch of fries she angrily stuffed in her mouth a few seconds before. "If there was anything worth stealing in that stupid store, I would, believe me. The whole damn place is so overpriced, anyway."

There was a few moments of silence as she focused her attention on her food and flicked a couple of burned fries onto the ground. "Stupid Daniel," she mumbled. "He was right about one thing though… I'm probably being extra bitchy because I'm on my period."

I gulped down the mouthful of Pepsi I had just taken in so hard that my throat burned in pain afterwards. "Did I really need to know that? I don't think I did."

She laughed and threw another bad fry my way. "Well, get used to it, buddy. No one said being my friend was easy."

We continued to talk and eat our lunch, laughing about ridiculous stuff and trying to steer clear of serious conversation. It was the oddest thing, but I felt like I bonded with her the best out of the four of the original group. Maybe it was because I had never really had a girl who was a friend without being a girlfriend or because our personalities complimented one another and didn't clash. Whatever the reason, it was a new and interesting experience for me.


	3. Chapter 3 - Beauty and the Beast

_Author's Note: This chapter goes off of and builds around the alternate ending to episode 1. I remembered reading it on the Freaks and Geeks website (a long, long time ago. Thanks to the archive website I found it again) and thought it would be perfect for this story. As the alternate ending goes, in addition to Millie and Lindsay, Kim Kelly was working the refreshment table at the dance as well, much to her dismay._

**Chapter 3 – "I'll be the beauty and you can be my beast…"**

* * *

The next day at school Nick dropped a bombshell in reveling that he and Lindsay were caught off school property during school hours by Mr. Rosso and she was being forced to work the refreshment table at tomorrow night's homecoming dance. The hippie guidance counselor had all but completely given up on Nick and decided not to even attempt placing a punishment on him.

While Ken, Daniel and I burst into laughter at their misfortune, Kim simply released a large sigh and buried her face in her hands for a moment when she found out. The four of us were hanging out under the stairs (which was the only place we would really frequent while inside school) when Kim burst into a repetitive verse of saying "shit, shit, shit".

"What the hell?" I questioned and shot a glance to Daniel, who looked to be just as confused as I was until an imaginary light bulb went on above his head. Once it did, he grinned toothily.

"Is little miss Kim going to have to work the refreshment table with her favorite person ever?" he quipped.

"Bite me," she groaned while Nick, Ken and I continued to share dumbfounded expressions.

Earlier that day, Kim had gained the ire of Mr. Rosso when he caught her at the tail end of harassing a little geeky kid. As punishment, she was being forced to work the refreshment table at homecoming as well. We must have sounded like we were stoned out of our minds with the roar of laughter that followed Kim's confession.

"You all better show up," she demanded as our amusement subsided, "I'm not spending three hours alone with that brain. I've had a hard enough time trying to avoid running into her today."

"It's not like you had to put in much effort. Do you really think she's interested in being anywhere near you with how ya treated her yesterday?" Daniel sounded irritated, looking down at his hands and picking at a random finger.

Kim stared at him, a look of anger growing in her eyes.

"Like I said before, I have plans," Ken responded, still snickering a little.

"Yeah, me too," Nick quickly joined in. "I've got to, uh… practice my drums. For the whole night."

I looked over at Kim, knowing full-well it was my turn. "No excuse, just not going. Hate me all you want. Sorry."

"God! You guys all suck!" she whined, sliding down the wall into a sitting position. She looked up at her boyfriend with hope and sweetly said his name, "Daniel?"

He was still eyeing his hands. "You made your bed, now you gotta lie in it," he answered somewhat coldly.

She stood up in a hurry, appearing hurt by his statement. "Oh yeah? I'll remember that the next time you want to do anything in bed, Desario. How about that?" She stormed off without even the interest of waiting for a response.

Daniel pushed himself off the wall and strolled out of the alcove a moment later, seemingly as cool and collected as ever, looking in the direction Kim left but ultimately walking away in the other.

No one said a word, but Ken and Nick had a look about that read that this was not an uncommon event. My face must have been telling the tale of my bewilderment because Ken released another laugh and explained that Kim and Daniel held one of the most dysfunctional relationships since the beginning of time and they (usually) had weekly break up and make up sessions.

* * *

"So, you're really not going?" I asked Daniel as we worked on his Trans Am. I knew as much about cars as he did about football. I mean, I knew how to keep 'em clean and tidy looking, but I didn't know jack about the insides. All it took was a slight show of interest and Daniel took on the role of a friendly father-figure mechanic like it was destiny. I learned more from him in a few days than I had from auto shop in a year. I had only been over to his house twice, but his mother was nice enough to me both times. I had not met his father either time, and something told me I probably wouldn't. According to Ken and Nick, he had had some kind of accident and was pretty much bed-ridden. On the rare occasions when he did try to move without help, he would usually fall and hurt himself. Not that anyone could tell if it was a new injury or simply an aggravated old one, though, as the man was in constant pain regardless.

Daniel grunted, putting all of his strength into trying to unscrew a stuck lug nut. "Goin' where?"

We had just finished replacing his brakes and he had unintentionally demonstrated why it is imperative to ensure you are not trying to screw the nut back in at an angle, even a slight one.

"To homecoming tonight. Ya know, for Kim. Geez, you want me to give it a shot?"

He looked up to me, releasing his bear hug grip on the tire iron. "Yeah, by all means, give it your best."

Daniel grabbed a rag and began cleaning some of the oil and grit off his hands while I kneeled down to the tire.

"Anyway, to answer your question: No, I'm not goin'. Maybe spending some time with Lindsay will help Kim get along with her and, besides, she'd probably want to do something girly there anyway… like dance."

I released a small laugh, "Isn't that what people are supposed to do at dances? Dance?"

"Yeah, well, Desarios don't dance. Except at weddings… when we're really drunk."

A grin formed on my face as I shook my head at his response. From the sound of it, he wasn't even trying to say that with a straight face. With a little bit of effort, I cranked the iron and the lug nut popped out of its socket.

"Phew! I sure worked up a sweat doing that! I can see why it was giving you so much trouble." I was growing more and more comfortable ribbing my new friends. After all, it was an integral part of our dynamic.

"Yeah, yeah," Daniel conceded through his cheesy half-smile, "Just don't strip it when you put it back in, Superman."

* * *

I glanced over at the clock on top of my nightstand. 8:38.

It was 8:38 on a Saturday night and I was bored out of my skull, lying on my bed. At home. Alone. Even my parents were having more fun than I was while they enjoyed their weekly date night. Daniel and Nick drove off somewhere hours ago, Ken was very likely stoned beyond recognition by now and the only other two of the crew were at school, serving up refreshments to sweaty, pimple-faced hormone machines.

I let out a loud groan of displeasure, knowing there was no place to go but back to the hellhole, before bouncing myself off my bed and reaching for my jacket. Someone had to make sure those two were not pulling each other's hair out.

It took me a moment to spot the table, but as soon as I did it became quite obvious that Kim was royally pissed. She had the usual pose: Crossed arms, wicked scowl across her face and that damn look of death. She didn't even dress for the occasion. She was just wearing her regular clothes. Then again, so was I… but I hadn't exactly planned on being there. I made my way towards her, wondering when she would notice, but she seemed lost in some sort of trance. She was staring out into the crowd of our peers, just watching them. I was about to say something when a dorky-looking kid with glasses approached. He did me the favor of breaking her concentration.

"Can I have a cup of punch?" He pointed to the large bowl of orange-ish red liquid on the table in front of him.

Kim fixed her gaze on him from the opposite side of the table, not making a move for the ladle at all. "What, are your stupid arms broken?"

The kid quickly shook his head, poured himself a cup and dropped a quarter on the table before scampering off back to the wall he was resting on before.

"I didn't know this was self-serve," I joked through a grin, feeling fairly certain that the storm had passed.

She turned suddenly, still appearing angry at first, but her look lightened when she realized it was me.

"I thought you were Mr. Rosso, scolding me again, for a second."

"I sound like Mr. Rosso?"

"I dunno! I wasn't really listening. It just sounded like someone didn't like how I handled that."

I looked around for a second. Next to Kim was Millie Kentner, Lindsay's highly religious friend who had tried to beckon her away from the patio a few days ago, but that was it.

"Where's Lindsay?"

Kim scoffed and rolled her eyes. "The little princess went home. First she mopped around, then she went out and danced with that Eli kid who broke his arm and then she started whining about how tired she was to Mr. Rosso, so he told her she could leave. She didn't even really do anything here! At least I sold, like, two dollars worth of this horrible punch." Without even looking, she flicked the newly-gained quarter towards Millie, who raised her hands up and flinched as it bounced off her palm. The coin rolled back to us and fell over after hitting my shoe. I picked it up and nicely handed it over to Millie.

"Thanks," she muttered.

Kim punched my arm, finally wearing a smile. "I thought you guys weren't coming."

"They didn't. I did," _That actually stung a little. She's pretty tough._

"Oh," She sounded glum again, and it was obvious she was hoping Daniel would show. "Well, when this is done, we can go find them and you can watch me kick their asses."

* * *

All three of us leaned against the wall that was a few feet back from the table, watching couples dance and wallflowers stand around just as awkwardly as we were. Whenever someone came up for something, Millie would quickly cater to them. She was a nice girl, and she could be funny at times… she even made Kim laugh once. Mostly though, she would just close her eyes and dance by herself to whatever song was playing while Kim and I talked. Mr. Rosso passed by us a few times, but he never made a remark about me hanging out with the girls or the fact that Kim had stopped trying altogether.

"So, Lindsay danced with Eli. Who did you dance with?"

"I didn't," she snorted out with a laugh.

"Let me guess, Kellys don't dance either?"

"What?" She looked at me with an amused expression on her face. "I can dance… I just don't want to with anyone here."

It was then that someone announced the last dance over the PA system and _Lights_ by Journey started playing. I laughed as I thought of a perfect way to tease her.

"Share the last dance with me?" I asked, knowing what the answer would be.

She didn't even bother looking at me. "Oh you're funny."

"Come on. I could have stayed at home and left you here by your lonesome. You kinda owe me, I think. Besides, this could turn out to end like a fairy tale. I'll be the beauty, you can be my beast."

"You're such a shit!" Kim laughed and shoved me lightly.

I simply held out my hand to her. She released a big sigh before taking it, though she did a horrible job of hiding a smile.

She knew to clasp her hands around my neck and wasn't shocked when I placed mine on her hips. Perhaps this Kelly really did dance after all.

"Are you and Lindsay friends now?" I asked as our feet shuffled from side to side and Steve Perry serenaded about his 'ci-tay' in the background.

Kim crinkled up her face slightly. "No, but I can probably stand being around her now at least. Seems like she's not going anywhere."

"Truth be told, I kinda thought I'd hear tales of how you two clawed each other's eyes out when I got here."

Kim grinned and shook her head, "I can be mature, you know?"

We only continued to dance for another minute before I heard a familiar voice say my name from a short distance.

"Donovan?"

"Aww shit," I muttered under my breath, watching Vicki Appleby briskly make her way towards us. She actually looked really good in the deep v-neck dress she was wearing. It was quite… risqué.

Kim quickly dropped her arms from around my neck and placed her hands atop mine.

"Are you serious?" Vicki's fists were clenched tight and a scowl was spread across her face. She was all but literally fuming. "You flake out on me even though we planned to go together and now you're here with some…" She eyed Kim with a look of disbelief, "…some skank freak?!"

I felt Kim begin to move and I held her back in fear she would lunge at the head cheerleader for her insult.

"Excuse me?" she roared, pulling at my grip slightly but not with any true force.

Vicki ignored her, keeping her sights set on me.

"After the Addler thing I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to go, but I didn't flake out. Then, less than a week after I quit the team, you dumped me!"

Kim looked to me in a bit of shock. It would seem that the information of my former (and very short) relationship with Vicki was news to her. I couldn't tell if she was impressed or disgusted, but I was leaning towards disgusted. My suspicions were confirmed when she pushed my hands off her hips and moved a few steps away from me, like I was now diseased or something.

"So you would rather go to homecoming with that instead of me?" Vicki swings again with a putdown.

"Yes," I answered without thought, becoming rather irritated with her. Of course I would rather go to the dance with a friend over a girl who was obviously only with me because of the long-standing cliché that cheerleaders are _supposed_ to date sports guys.

Kim quickly rebutted, "No!"

"I mean no… wait, what?" I glanced over to her.

_Did Kim just answer for me and I backtracked into it?_

Vicki squinted at us, confused by what just took place. "Are you high or something, Don?"

Now it was my turn to squint, looking back to Vicki. "No!"

Kim rebutted again, "Yes!"

"I mean yes… what?" Another quick head swivel and I was getting a bit dizzy.

_Goddamnit! What the hell? Why did I do that again?_

"Oh my God, this is ridiculous," Vicki breathed, rolling her eyes so hard I could've sworn she would see her brain… if there was one up there. "I shouldn't be surprised, though. You've been a complete mess ever since you gave up football."

I had no idea what to say. People thought I was a complete mess? Well that's interesting. Suddenly, both girls turned and walked away from me as if it was some sort of rehearsed synchronized ditching routine.

"What the hell?" I called, trotting after Kim. "I'm not high. Are you? What was that?"

She stopped and turned around, looking displeased once again. "Well I had to say something! Do you think I want that bitch starting up some horrible rumor about us? Daniel would kill you!"

_Daniel? Killing me? The guy who was beat by a lug nut?_

My face must have been a canvas for my thoughts as Kim quickly protested again.

"Okay, he might not _kill_ you, but I don't want you guys fighting. You know she's a shit-stirrer!"

"We're just friends, Kim. It's not like she caught us making out or anything!"

I had no idea that dancing was so taboo.

Her face changed once again, like she had just reminded herself of something. "And, really, you and Vicki? I knew you were popular but, Jesus, I thought you at least had some class."

She turned back around and flung the gym doors open with so much force that they violently smacked against the wall. I guess we weren't going out to find the guys anymore.

I stood there for a minute in silence, trying to figure out which I truly understood less: cars or women.


	4. Chapter 4 - What's Going On

_Author's Note: I would like to thank lydiathedinosaur for the wonderful and thoughtful reviews. They really put a smile on my face and encouraged me to continue on with posting this story here._

**Chapter 4 – What's Going On**

* * *

Sunday. Homework crunch time. Unfortunately, it also seemed to be Homecoming fallout time as well. Throughout the entire day I kept receiving calls from friends and, more so, former teammates. Vicki had made quick work of spreading the news, apparently. Donovan Matsen was now addicted to pot and was so high at the dance he didn't even know how to talk right… or so I was told, at least. I wasn't sure who to be more pissed with: Vicki for being the predicable gossip girl she was or Kim for feeding the (as she would put it) shit stirrer. If I was hearing about it this much in less than 24 hours, it would burn through the school population like a wildfire on Monday.

My dad was somewhat excited by all of the attention I had been getting again. I think he was under the assumption that my team was calling because I was going to get back into football, not because I was the subject of some juicy chatter. I didn't want to squelch his mood, but if he even thought about bringing the matter up, I would really have no problem turning back into a disappointment for him. My mother was simply annoyed by the nonstop interruptions to her daily routine. When she started acting like that, behaving oddly or becoming irrationally angry at the drop of a hat, it truly worried me because I was never sure if she was just having a bad day or if she was getting sick again. For as long as she could remember, she had always had periods of time where she felt completely horrible, both physically and mentally. When it happened, she… well, she changed. Think Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. There is really no other way I can think of to explain it. She wouldn't act like herself. She would become mean and spiteful, act irrationally and become altogether unpredictable. There was a strong physical reaction as well. Her whole body would swell, especially her arms and legs, and every movement was pure agony for her. She had been diagnosed with everything under the sun, and when her current doctor became frustrated with the lack of progress on whatever they thought she had, they would drop her. Each new doctor disregarded the previous one's conclusion and came up with one of their own. It was an endless cycle of nothing. Her most recent physician, Dr. Hudson, decided upon a radical prognosis and proclaimed my mother had Lupus. Actually, he said a long, medical name that I cannot remember, but Lupus is the short term for it. It was complicated and, as far as I could tell, fairly mysterious to most medical professionals. He had put her on a new plethora of medication, but warned that until we truly knew what was wrong, it may not help matters much.

* * *

The beginning of the school week had, at long last, finally arrived. It's not like I was really looking forward to it, but better to get it out of the way than continue to dread the inevitable. I made my way out to the patio before the first bell of the day rang to see who I could spot. I quickly identified Daniel sitting at our normal spot on one of the metal benches, getting in a little nicotine fix before the school day started.

As I began to walk to him he lifted his head and nodded to me.

"I heard you caved and dropped by the dance to keep Kim company and even shared a dance with her."

There was a moment of hesitation as I tried to read Daniel's face, but he was wearing that smile of his and the tone went right alongside it.

"That was pretty nice of you, man, pretty nice."

I felt a bit of relief wash over me. I never would have pegged Daniel as the jealous type, especially given his laid-back personality, but people did act differently when their significant other was the subject.

"So," he continued, throwing me a quick glance, "You danced with my girl, when do I get to dance with yours?"

I took his question literally and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what he meant. I wasn't dating anyone. Was he talking about Vicki? That would be weird. No question. Besides, I thought he said Desarios don't dance.

"What?" I finally blurted out, sounding just as stumped as I actually was.

Daniel began to laugh. "Your car, you goofball. When do I get to take the Challenger for a spin? You know I'm kind of in love with your car, right?"

"Mine? Your Trans Am is an upgrade in every way possible."

"Nah. My car ain't exactly up to standards anymore. It still needs a lot of help; I just don't have the cash… yet. That Challenger is a beast to look at though, and I really want to see how fast it can go from 0 to 60."

He was right, it was a gorgeous car. That was part of the appeal of buying it in the first place, just how perfect it still looked after being out and about for all those years. It was undoubtedly the best use of my summer job money (I will never work in the restaurant industry again, though. I know that for a fact), that's why I had no problem handing over almost all of it to my cousin when he gave a price to my inquiry. Then again, also knowing that he would never screw me over and sell me a lemon helped a great deal as well.

There was a moment of silence as I contemplated bringing up a question that had been floating around in my head ever since I first witnessed Daniel drive his car into the school parking lot. I finally decided just to go for it and asked, "How did you get that car anyway?"

It was a nosy question, and truly none of my business, but his Trans Am was a special tenth anniversary '79 model and it blew my mind how he could afford something like that when it was just two years old. Like I said, I didn't really know cars before Daniel took me under his wing, but I certainly had a fascination with them that far predated my introduction to him.

He snubbed out his cigarette and laced his fingers behind his head, leaning back into the next tier of the metal benches. It looked as if it was uncomfortably poking into the small of his back, but a slight smirk appeared on his face. 'You know about Ace Auto up on 9th?'

I simply nodded. It was one of the slicker car dealerships in town. It wasn't overly large, but they always had nice-looking cars on display.

"Yeah, well, my brother used to be friends with the owner, whose name isn't Ace by the way. Long story short, I still talk to him from time to time and he showed me the Trans Am sitting behind his place, covered in a tarp and completely neglected. Apparently he was one of the first in line to buy it when they hit the market and the idiot treated it like crap. Rode it hard, never took it in for maintenance or check-ups, let it sit outside in the elements all year round. Only favor he ever did for that car besides sell it to me was wash it damn near religiously, but the moron would use regular old dish soap! That and the weather are why the poor thing looks so bleached out. Anyway, it stopped running and all the local mechanics, including his own, wanted to charge him an arm and a leg to fix it. Nobody wanted to buy it off him, neither, not til I came around. I pretty much got it for a steal, but I know he really just wanted to get rid of it."

Suddenly, we heard Ken and Nick bickering back and forth about something as they made their way to the patio.

"You're such a liar," Ken remarked.

Nick seemed somewhat stung and annoyed as he looked over at his friend. "No, I'm not, man. Look, just ask Daniel when we run into him. He was there, too. He heard the exact same thing I did."

Ken finally veered his head in our direction and pointed towards us. "Better yet, why don't we just ask the man himself?"

Daniel nudged my shoulder with his elbow, his face showing the earmarks of a smile his mouth was attempting to hide. "If they're talking about what I think they're talking about, you've got some explaining to do."

"Fellas," Ken greeted as he approached us. "So, Donovan… Nick tells me he heard something very interesting about you Saturday night. Is it true that you and Vicki Appleby were, uh… you know, doin' it before you started hanging out with degenerates like us?"

Forward and crass are two words I would easily affiliate with Ken, but even his directness with this was a bit shocking to me.

Nick quickly smacked his arm with the back of his hand. "That's not what I said at all. She told us they were going out!"

_I heard that. 'She' told us…_

"OW!" Ken grimaced and began to rub his arm. "Does it matter? What's the point in dating a hot cheerleader if you're not going to have sex?"

"And how many hot cheerleaders have you had sex with, Ken?" I was trying to divert the question and continue to push us far off course of the matter. Sometimes it worked…

He snorted, "Apparently not as many as you have. Come on, man, level with us here. This is something about you that might actually be interesting."

…this time it didn't.

Daniel was cracking up behind me and it must have been contagious because I found myself beginning to laugh as well.

"Okay, okay. Yes, Vicki and I dated for a little while. Less than two weeks, actually. We got together just before school started, but the majority of time we were together, I was playing football and she was bossing around the other cheerleaders. We made out a few times, but that was it. No sex."

Well, that technically wasn't it. I had made it to second base several times while we made out, but Vicki was very reluctant to go any further. She said we should spend more time together and get to know one another better before we took things that far. The problem was that our 'relationship' was just for show as far as she was concerned. There were ample opportunities where we could have spent time together and got to know each other on a more personal level, but she was never interested and always made some excuse to not be with me. If we went to a party where we would be seen by a lot of friends, she was all over me, but if it was just going to be the two of us hanging out, she wasn't even interested. Remembering our short time together actually left a bad taste in my mouth.

Both Nick and Ken looked utterly disappointed at my answer.

"You could have at least lied to us, man. We wouldn't have known the difference and you would have come off as way cooler," Ken lamented.

"Who's to say that wasn't a lie?"

He stopped and thought about it before finally smirking, "Touché, my friend."

"…what the hell does 'touché' mean?" Nick asked as we all walked back into the school building.

* * *

The week seemed to fly by, thankfully. There were times when I wanted to nag Kim about how she was so eager to spill the beans when it came to Vicki and me, but she always seemed to be in a bad mood. Her and Daniel were still having their issues, it seemed. By the time Thursday rolled around, Kim had near-gleefully admitted to 'dumping Daniel's loser ass!' and, in the process of continuing to antagonize Lindsay, she had unintentionally made the girl agree to throwing a keg party at her house the next night. It had been a little while since I last went to a kegger and this one would be a brand new experience as I could only imagine a select few of my former cronies would show up there.

* * *

An hour into the party and my expectations of 'new' and 'exciting' went swirling down a drain. Not that I should have been surprised, but it was pretty much just more of the same. Kids wanting to get drunk, have fun and maybe get into a little mischief. I spotted Kim on the couch and took a seat next to her. Millie had arrived at some point and was playing a song on the piano that Nick was singing along to with her.

"Hey," she said as I plopped down, but her attention seemed to be on the horror show in front of us.

"Hey. So, I don't know if you heard or not, but word around school is that I am a bonafied stoner. You should see the way Coach Fredricks looks at me now," I began to laugh.

When she turned to face me with that sour look on her face, I could tell I had misjudged her mood. "Did you really come over here just to give me crap about that? So I may have started a rumor about you smoking some pot. Big whoop. You'd have to take a drug test to go back to your precious little sport. Like you've ever done anything more than get drunk anyway."

_Ohhh, if only you knew…_ A smirk crossed my face.

"Holy shit! No way!" she said, suddenly sitting up. She was staring at me rather intensely. I don't think I have ever run across anyone who could read my face so quickly... or accurately. It was a tad disturbing just how guarded I had to be around her.

"Is our Donovan really just a huge pothead?" she laughed.

My smirk grew wider and I figured that would be answer enough. I wouldn't classify myself as a pothead per se, but I certainly enjoyed a toke every now and then. I always figured that if worse came to worse and I did have to take a drug test, there were more than enough straight kids around the school who would donate a clean sample for my cause… especially with a little monetary encouragement.

* * *

Daniel had invited his cousin and a couple of his friends and I was actually taken aback when I saw them. He had told me they were older, but I wasn't expecting a group of 30 year old burnouts trotting along with another guy who was at least 15 years older than them and showing more grey hairs than Quaker's got oats. The geriatric alcoholic even went as far as to try to pick a fight with Ken when the two bumped into one another. It was a bit sad, really. Was this what Daniel, Kim, Ken, Nick and I had to look forward to if we kept along the same path? Spending all of our time looking for teenage keggers to leech off of? Lindsay was too smart to walk into the same pitfall, but could the rest of us see far enough ahead to sidestep it?

"Hey, hey…" I nudge Ken, trying to break the concentrated stare he was giving the old man from across the room. Even though Daniel had quickly interjected himself between the two, Ken probably still wanted to knock the guy's block off. "Is it just me or does this beer really suck? I don't- I don't feel drunk at all!"

"That's because it's non-alcoholic," he replied back dryly, still not breaking his glare.

"It's what?" I looked at the liquid sloshing around the clear, plastic cup in my hand, as if this new-found information would somehow now reveal itself to my blind eye. "How do you know?"

"Because I've had non-alcoholic beer before and this is exactly what it tasted like."

I was going to try to engage him more on the matter, but two girls walked by, the second of which had a rather large bust that easily caught Ken's attention, confirmed by him uttering 'Good God," and following her with his eyes, so I figured he was no longer worried about settling a score.

I gave him a pat on the shoulder and took my leave from the Weir house, ready to call it a night and head home. It was an interesting night, even if the lack of actual alcohol robbed me of at least a pleasant buzz. I took note of Nick standing outside, but he didn't even see me drift by as his eyes studied the dead leaf in his hand like it was one of the most interesting things he had ever discovered in his life. Someone else came out as I unlocked my car door and I heard Lindsay's disappointed voice float down the driveway.

"Daniel and Kim are makin' out on my bed."

_Jesus! Already? They spent more time breaking up than broken up._

I felt somewhat sorry for her as I started the engine and pulled onto the road. She obviously had some sort of attraction to Daniel and was hoping to take advantage of his sudden single status, but she moved too slowly for such a small window of opportunity.

* * *

I reached under my car seat as I slowly made my way home.

_Where is it?_

My fingers finally fumbled across the hard, bulky cartridge and I shakily grasped it between my index and middle fingers. I flipped it over in my hand and popped Marvin Gaye's _What's Going On_ album into my 8-track player (It was my only solo post-buy modification and I was quite pleased with myself for installing it. Then again, I simply memorized how I uninstalled it from the dud at the junkyard and worked backwards). The amount of ridicule I would receive if Kim, Daniel, Ken or Nick found out I enjoyed a bit of soul music would be out of this world, but hey, you are who you are.

_Mercy Mercy Me_ started playing and I couldn't help but start to tap along on the steering wheel and echo the musician's verses. Even though he was talking about the deterioration of the environment in the song, I could easily apply the '_things ain't what they used to be_' line to my current spot in life. When it was over, I spun it all the way to the end of the last program, just so I could listen to the very first track, the title of the album, and proceeded to once again tap away on and sing into the steering wheel. They were my two favorite tracks from that release and, while I could relate one to myself to a certain degree, I realized I could also hear the similarities between this song and how I now viewed the freaks. Before I hung out with them, there was no love or understanding between us. We judged each other based on looks and social standings, but when it came down to it, we had more in common than we would have ever given each other credit for beforehand.

"_Talk to me, so you can see, oh, what's going on_," I belted out blandly, continuing down the road.


	5. Chapter 5 - Masks

**Chapter 5 – Masks**

* * *

"Um, hey, what are you doing for Halloween?" I heard Nick ask Lindsay. The word that triggered me out of my mini-trance was 'Halloween'. Tomorrow was the day and I was actually feeling a little excited. If there was any 'holiday' I would claim for myself, Halloween would definitely be it. Decorations had been popping up in stores and around people's homes for the past week and, while some were pretty good and inspired, none could truly compare to what me and my folks had put up for display. I continued to listen to the two talk about plans for the next night.

"Oh, I have to hand out candy with my mom."

Nick let out a little laugh and Lindsay began to look embarrassed.

"I know it… sounds really dorky. Um, she gets really into it."

In yet another display that she was not too fond of the newcomer, Kim interjected mockingly, "Oh, Lindsay, I don't think that sounds dorky at all." She was barely able to contain a laugh that bubbled over. Under normal circumstances, her joke would be considered friendly ribbing, but there was still bad blood between the two.

I expressed a little smile as Nick hastily jumped in to defend her and the conversation seemed to go off track slightly before Lindsay pulled it back in.

"What are you guys doing?"

"I'm gonna be hanging out with my folks at home, too. Handing out candy, psychologically scarring children for life… you know, the normal stuff," I answered.

"Oh my God, two dorks!" Kim blurted out and I simply rolled my eyes at her, the smile still hovering on my lips.

"Halloween is more sacred than Christmas in the Matsen household I'll have you know, missy. We enjoy our scary shit."

Daniel spoke up, sitting sideways and holding Kim between his arms. The two seemed very couple-like today. It was actually a bit weird to see them _so_ all over each other. "Well, Kim, Nick and I are going out, borrowin' my uncle's big-ass caddy, and… thought maybe you'd like to come with us."

I figured he had to be talking to Lindsay, as Daniel and I had already set plans for them to drop by and pick me up later on in the evening.

After what seemed to be a small inner-struggle, she declined, the bell rang and we all dispersed.

* * *

Prepping for Halloween was actually a bit of a task for our house. We didn't just want to be another home dressed for the day on our street, we wanted to be _the_ house everyone stopped and awed at. This year we decided to go with a graveyard theme for the yard and to try to make the house look like a moss & vine covered mausoleum from the outside. We had two maple trees in the front yard that had shed all but a few leaves and they were actually a little spooky when we spread the fallen debris all over the yard and placed our make-shift tombstones everywhere. They were made out of those thick Styrofoam sheets all the stores just throw away. We painted them with a few shades of gray spray-paint and put silly names like 'Ima Gonner' and 'Pearl E. Gates' on them. We even went as far as to create our own little fog machines (which were really just a small aluminum plate with the top half of a 2-liter pop bottle taped to it. Mix some pure glycerin and distilled water and pour some onto the plate, put a candle underneath and within a few minutes you will have a nice pillar of fog billowing out) and disguised them to look like lanterns that were spread throughout our cemetery. Add a few tea lights next to some of the headstones and we had some pretty creepy scenery.

We all dressed up as well. My parents went with a tried and true duo-costume of Frankenstein's monster and his bride. Even though I had seen them don the outfits for a few Halloweens, I must admit that they did look good as the couple. My mother's hair, which was very long and curly, stood up rather well with the help of an entire can of hairspray. She highlighted the sides of her hair with some sort of temporary spray-on white color. The monster headpiece my dad wore was a little worse for wear, but he had had it for years. The flaps showed awkwardly around his forehead from up close, but far away it looked quite impressive. My mom would spend a good hour applying the green makeup and making sure the stitched-scars looked as real as she could make them.

When I was younger, I used to love being a skeleton every year. As I grew and my body filled out with muscle, though, being a beefy skeleton just didn't hold the same appeal. I had watched _Halloween_ last year and Michael Myers scared the living crap out of me. It became a slight obsession to try to put together a costume that looked just like his this year. It was only a three piece outfit, but the mask was damn-near impossible to find. All the ones in our local stores were too big and didn't really look anything like the one in the movie. I had to go to three different towns before I finally found one that was as close to perfect as my small budget could afford. I found an old, navy blue coverall at a thrift shop and used a pair of my dad's boots. Slap them all together and voila: scary, psycho killer ready to hand out candy to the kids.

The crew didn't drop by until a little after 7:30 at night. I heard them laughing and talking as they walked up the driveway, it sounded like they were enjoying all the effort we put into our decorations. I imagined they were expecting some sort of cheap scare, but still hoped to pull it off nonetheless. They knocked on the door and rang the bell simultaneously as I took in a deep breath, grinned and pulled my mask back on.

I ripped the door open as fast and violently as I could, releasing some sort of weird, guttural roar and acting as if I was going to rush them.

Everybody's eyes widened. Daniel yelled "Jesus!" and Nick even turned around and began to bolt down the driveway. Both Kim and Ken screamed.

Ken, of all people, screamed.

I burst into a wild fit of laughter that I literally couldn't control. I ran out of breath and was desperately gasping more in to expel in amusement. Falling to a knee, I must have sounded and looked just as crazy as I felt.

When they realized it was me, they all broke into laughter as well.

"Congratulations on being a big kid, Donovan," Daniel smirked as I welcomed them into my house.

Kim roughed up my Myers mask hair and passed with a smile along with Nick while Ken gave me a sturdy punch to the arm, citing, "If you tell anyone about that scream, you're a dead man… that actually goes for all of you!"

My parents, who were busy getting ready to attend the Maxwell family's annual Halloween Monster Mash party, greeted us as we entered the living room and I did a quick round of introductions and who's who.

I watched as my friends studied my mother and father, trying to decide which features I got from each. It was quite obvious though, or at least it was to me. A lot of my strong facial features came from my mother, surprisingly. Nice, chiseled cheeks, big, daring brown eyes, a very symmetrical nose and my lips had the same slight fullness to them that hers did. There was a tiny dimple in my chin that I hated (thanks, dad), but the pathetic amount of hair I could grow there was too patchy to hide it just yet (thanks again, dad). Better to just shave regularly and wait for it to fill out. My body was entirely from my father. He was built like a football player, too, but I had outgrown him by a full inch over the past year and, with any luck, I would get another inch or two before it stopped.

"You make a really pretty bride of, uh, Frankenstein, Mrs. Matsen," Kim complimented as we all prepared to leave. The night wasn't exactly young anymore, but we certainly were, and knew there was more trouble to be had.

My mother smiled to her, "Well thank you, dear. You kids have fun tonight."

"But not too much fun," my dad chimed in with a laugh.

Ah, parents. Even when they try to be cute they are embarrassing.

* * *

I had missed a grand spectacle of Lindsay Weir, upstanding student and do-gooder, destroying pumpkins, smashing mailboxes and, unintentionally, egging her own kid brother earlier in the day. Kim found some sort of extreme guilty pleasure in that last bit from the sound of her voice. With the exception of the destruction of a few more jack-o-lanterns and pillaging entire bowls of candy from houses whose owners were not keen to answer the door, the night consisted of a lot of back and forth joking around.

"Hey, Donovan, what time is it?"

I saw Daniel looking back at me through the rear-view mirror. Nick, Ken and I must have looked like a tightly packed case of sardines as we all tried to squeeze into the back seat. Glancing at my watch quickly (I seemed to be the only one who wore one), I told him it was about a quarter to ten.

"Lindsay mentioned something about that new _Friday the 13__th_ movie playing again today. Maybe we could all go check that out before we call it a night," he said, granting a crooked smile to Kim. She was opposed to the idea before, but since there really wasn't much else to do she apathetically went along with it.

The plan was for one of us to buy a ticket and let the others in through the back door of the theater and of course it would be my luck to draw the short straw among us. I was feeling a little goofy and still wanted to enjoy the last bit of Halloween there was left, so I put on the Myers mask as I entered the theater and asked the usher for one ticket to the movie. One of the many nice things about my height and size was that most people assumed I was the appropriate age for whatever I was trying to do… except bars. They always carded.

The man at the ticket booth laughed when he looked up at me and said anyone who was that big a fan of the horror genre deserved one on the house and let me through. There was a fleeting moment when I felt bad for taking advantage of his generosity basically five times over as I let my friends in, but you only get to be young and rebellious for a little while.

I sat directly in the middle of our five seat line, with Kim and Nick on either side of me. As the movie began, I found myself pondering if this new slasher would be as good as my currently mimicked favorite.

After only about thirty minutes in, I felt Kim tapping on my arm. I looked over, noticing she was holding Daniel's hand with her other and was motioning with her free hand for mine. A slight snicker escaped my lips as I gave in.

_Kim Kelly, the toughest of tough girls, scared by a horror movie? Oh this is good, this is gre- Ow!_

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head and I breathed in sharply through my nose as she squeezed the life out of my hand during a scary music cue.

_Serves me right, I guess._

* * *

A few weeks later things had changed in our circle quite significantly. Somewhere along the way something had happened between Kim and Lindsay and they were actually becoming friends. I couldn't believe it when I first saw it, but the two had finally clicked. I assume it was tied closely with another event, one that I actually wasn't too happy to witness.

Kim had been hanging around regularly with Karen Scarfolli ever since her boyfriend dumped her for cheating on him (shocker). Basically that meant I spent a lot of time with the guys that day or simply disappeared whenever Karen was around… she seemed to show up everywhere, though! I couldn't even escape her at the park when Daniel, Nick and I decided to shoot some hoops (our former basketball superstar was dominating us, but that is beside the point). That was when it happened – Daniel and Karen started flirting with each other and I watched his mask of loyalty begin to slip.

Now, I'm not claiming to be the best boyfriend ever. I've made my mistakes in relationships and occasionally had a wandering eye, but I certainly never started stroking another girl's cheek or let her suggestively suck on my thumb while I was with someone else.

It looked like he was about a split-second away from kissing her when Kim's rusty Gremlin came roaring across the grass like there were cross-hairs on all of us. Nick and I barely made it out of the way as she barreled through the basketball court area. She was screaming, "You are dead! You are SO dead! Do you hear me?! You are dead! Both of you are dead!" and her pitch grew higher and higher with each word. I assumed (hoped) that she was referring to Daniel and Karen in her screech.

I still don't know how, but Daniel explained his way out of it later on in the evening. The whole thing kind of tarnished my image of him a little. Unlike a lot of other jocks, I did not think infidelity was no big deal and, for whatever reason, I expected better of my new friends. As far as I was concerned, the only real positive that came out of the whole thing was that I would likely never have to see or try to avoid hanging out with Karen ever again. Well, that and Kim & Linds' new-found bond.

There was also an incident where Daniel had somehow conned Lindsay into helping him with his math. At first I think she was under the assumption that she was going to tutor him and he was going to learn, but it soon twisted into something where she handed him all the answers he needed to ace a math test. Anyone could have told them that going that far would throw up a big red flag, but what was done was done and they did end up getting caught. In the same way Daniel's interaction with Karen Scarfolli opened my eyes a little more to him, I think Lindsay now realized that Daniel knew how to play upon people emotions and manipulate them to justify his own ends. He wasn't exactly doing it to be malicious or difficult; it was just a way he handled situations where he felt there was no easy out. Daniel told some sob story that nearly got them out of it, but he had used the same tactic on Lindsay just hours before and that was when she connected the dots and began to laugh hysterically, ruining any groundwork he had laid down. I wish I could have been there for that, I really do, 'cause the way both of them tell it, it just sounds absolutely hilarious.


	6. Chapter 6 - Unwanted Feedback

_Author's Note: Shortest chapter yet this time around, but the next is gearing up to be the longest (Honestly, I may split it in two if it gets much longer. Then it'll just be a double-treat that day :p)_

_So much for my warning of 'one chapter a month' when I first started, huh? I'm just having too much fun with this!_

_Also, I just read through **Wooden Ships **by hippiecrack and I almost chocked on my drink when I read her main character's surname was the same as Donovan's! Total coincidence on my end, but hilarious nonetheless._

**Chapter 6 – Unwanted Feedback**

* * *

"Hey, Donovan," Kim whispered, kicking at my shoe as I sat and innately tapped my pencil to the desk in study hall. I peered up at her, meeting her eyes with mine. She was glowing and looked as excited as a kid on Christmas morning. It was an expression she made when she said something really snarky that got a lot of laughs or when she knew some sort of secret she just couldn't hold to herself… or when, on that rare occasion, something put her in a good mood. Honestly, it was a lovable look on her and one I wish she displayed more often.

I was trying to memorize facts from our textbook for my history test next period. "What's up?"

She leaned in a bit closer, as if the walls had ears and this was some hush-hush info we were about to dive into. "You have a fake ID, right?"

I nodded. It wasn't exactly a well-kept secret that almost the entire football team had banded together and got fake IDs, so I assumed she had heard through word of mouth.

"Good," she grinned, "'cause we're all going to The Rusty Nail tomorrow night to listen to a new band called Feedback."

I groaned in disinterest and looked back down at my textbook. Most bar bands sucked… big time. Hell, I usually drank more just so I wouldn't have to remember them the next day. "Mr. Rosso sounds better than most of those bands, Kim, and that's saying something."

She cringed slightly, probably recalling our little 'intervention' with the guidance counselor earlier in the day when he sang to us.

"Then again, it could be worse, I guess. The band playing could be Creation or something."

We both broke into a wild fit of laughter that we had to quickly reign in. Daniel, Ken, Nick and Sean's band were… well, they were just bad. I think they all knew it too, aside from Nick, and they just wanted to have fun. I could appreciate that they could all play their instruments with some precision, but they were a long way off from being bearable.

"Oh, come on!" she badgered and shoved my shoulder. "Even if the band sucks, it'll still be fun! Besides…" She trailed off, and I could tell she was just waiting for me to look at her again. Begrudgingly, I lifted my gaze back up into her light blue eyes. I felt like some sort of subservient being that just didn't know how to say no.

"I don't think I've ever seen you drunk before. Even at Lindsay's party you seemed totally fine."

_Guess someone didn't tell her about the beer._

I had gotten quite wasted with the guys a few times, but she was right, I had never been drunk in front of her yet. Odd how that worked out.

Kim was excited to go to the bar because it was, as she put it, Nick and Lindsay's real first date.

"Wait, what?" I looked at her awkwardly. "I thought Linds told you they weren't dating."

She snorted out a laugh and rolled her eyes, "Well, she's not gonna admit it! You can totally tell, though. She denies anything is going on between them, but whenever she talks about it she is wearing a smile that says otherwise."

All of the sudden Ken and I were the odd men out in the group. How the hell did that happen? I definitely needed to get in touch with my Casanova side again.

Mr. Bherdalla finally had enough of our conversation, calling out, "Hey, talkie twins, this is study hall, okay? Unless you're taking a linguistics class, keep quiet and focus on your school work."

Kim and I shared an 'oops' look and scoffed before doing as we were told.

* * *

The rest of the group had to go though a few trials and tribulations to get their beer-drinking permits (I could have told them that Howie Gelfand would disappoint), but by the time Friday night arrived, we were all prepped to 'legally' get drunk. I was surprised by how casual Kim was with the bouncers at the door and it made me wonder just how often she would drop by The Rusty Nail. She was the only one of the six of us who just strolled right in. Well, Lindsay could have too, but she seemed a bit disheartened by the fact that Jimmy, the bouncer, didn't even want to check her ID.

"What it is, what it is, my brother," Jimmy began as I approached the entrance. "Gonna need to see some ID."

I held out the square card for him to examine and he smiled and waved me through, giving me a single pat on the back as I passed. That was one of the interesting things about running into another black person. Somehow, they just knew that I was, in part, one of them. Because of my lighter skin tone, most people assumed I was Hispanic… one guy even thought I was Italian, but whenever I ran into another brother, it was just immediate recognition. It was comforting to a degree, because it was as if an instant bond was generated from out of nowhere and you were just like 'hey, this guy knows what the deal is'. Sometimes it was a nod, sometimes it was a greeting, but there was always some sort of friendly notice.

* * *

Ken, Daniel, Kim and I sat at one of the open tables and let Lindsay and Nick have one all to themselves. As we heard the band get started, we all got excited and started clapping and cheering. They began playing the first song and I had an odd feeling of déjà vu.

_Is this… is this… _I tried to remember the name of the song we heard yesterday from the counselor, but my memory was running a blank. Nobody else seemed to make a connection, but once the lights came on over the band, we all recognized Feedback's lead singer: Mr. Jeff Rosso.

Now, along with the déjà vu, there was a sinking feeling in the pit f my stomach. We all stared at the school faculty member in disbelief, just waiting for him to stop singing at any moment and call the bouncers on us. This was our kind of luck and it only had one name: Bad.

Unexpectedly, he seemed to not even notice us. They played through the song and then another and another before our beverages finally arrived. We had all settled back into our comfort zone by that point, certain that the danger had passed and we were going to pull one over right in front of the hippie.

"Alright, alright," Mr. Rosso began, taking a quick breather, "Hey everybody! I have got a great group of hard-workin' rockers behind me right here and I'd like to introduce them all to ya, but first we have some special guests in the audience I'd like to introduce."

He locked his eyes dead-center on us and even though his voice was still as friendly as ever, his glare was telling a different story,

_Oh no. Not now… it's beer time…_

"All the way from McKinley High school…" Rosso continued and I knew we were screwed.

Our IDs were confiscated and we had to sit through yet another, albeit short, lecture from Mr. Rosso. It was better than the alternative of him calling the cops on us, though. We all left the bar immediately after that.

"I can't believe this shit!" Kim hissed. Her outrage was understandable, as her ID was the only one out of the bunch that wasn't entirely fake.

Lindsay, always the optimist, looked like she was trying to come up with something to do now. "Hey, maybe we could-"

"Just take me home, Daniel. God, this night sucks," Kim rashly interrupted. She had clearly had enough for the evening.

* * *

Our outing simply disbanded after that outburst and I sat in my car for a moment, trying to convince myself that what I was contemplating doing was completely idiotic and tricky. With a sigh, I opened my car door and stepped outside again. Jimmy watched me approach the bar once again and started shaking his head.

"I heard about you and your friends'… unfortunate luck. Sorry, but I can't let you back in."

Now it was my turn to shake my head, "I don't want to go back in, but I was hoping you would help me with something."

He didn't ask what it was because he probably knew it was going to be a bad request anyway. I held a twenty dollar bill in my shaky hand and offered it to him.

"Is there any way you can go in there and snag our IDs back?"

Jimmy released a short, sarcastic laugh and rolled his eyes. "No. No, no, no, no, no."

"My friend spent, like, three-hundred dollars getting those, man."

"Do I look like I care? I see this kind of thing happen every week. Consider it a life lesson learned and walk away."

"Come on, brotha, please," I pleaded. I actually had no problem with appearing to beg for help… I was doing this for my friends. "Twenty bucks for twenty seconds of your time. They're not even going to notice the IDs are gone anyway."

Jimmy moved his lower jaw from side to side a few times, looking to the side and giving me hope he was actually considering what I had asked. A moment later he sighed loudly and snatched the money from my hand before disappearing into the bar. It took him a little longer than twenty, more like two minutes, but when he reemerged he was holding one hand in his jacket pocket. He pulled me over to the side and discretely handed the batch of plastic cards to me.

"Don't ever let me catch you trying to use these here again or I will burn them right in front of your ass. You understand me?"

I smiled and shoved them into my back pocket. "Perfectly."

"Stay outta trouble, brother."

"You too, man, you too."

I strolled back to my car with a certain pep to my step, happy to be the unsung hero of the night.


	7. Chapter 7 - No good deed (Part 1)

_Author's Note: This was going to be a loooong chapter at first (5700+ words), but I decided to break it in half to keep somewhat in line with the others._

**Chapter 7 – No good deed… (Part 1)**

* * *

Just how boring was my life at this current point in time? Well, it was so boring that I chose to drive around to my friend's houses on a Saturday to hand deliver their fake IDs back to them instead of waiting until Monday like any sane person would. First I went to Nick's and almost had my heart explode out of my chest when his dad told me his son was on 'probation' and couldn't have any guests at the time, but insisted that he could give Nick whatever it was I wanted him to have. There was no way in hell I was going to just hand Mr. Andopolis an ID that stated his son was twenty-three years old, but my God, the man had a military temperament about him that made you feel like he knew exactly what you were up to and he could snap your neck with his mind. 'Intimidated' does not even begin to explain how I felt around him.

I stopped by Daniel's place next and caught him just as he was getting ready to leave. He seemed less enthusiastic than I assumed he would be to get his ID back, but it was quite obvious that something was preoccupying his attention. It likely had to do with his father, as his mother always had her son running errands for her so she wouldn't have to leave her husband alone at home.

"Thanks, man. I would stay and do something with ya, but… I kinda got stuff I need to do. Maybe someday soon we'll be able to put these to good use again though."

"No problem, Daniel," I smiled, but then I suddenly realized that I actually had no idea where anyone else in our group lived (I couldn't even remember how to get to Lindsay's house), so I tried to pawn Kim's card off on him to give to her, but he was losing his patience by that point and told me to just give it to her myself.

"2413 West Alumni Avenue or something! Just look for her car!" Daniel yelled, his roaring voice barely noticeable over the deafening sound of his engine as he revved away in his Trans Am.

* * *

Alumni Avenue was actually only a few blocks away… I had just always avoided the area because it was one of the more rundown parts of town. My 'hero' role was not panning out as I had hoped it would so far and I was just going to call it quits if I met the same reaction from Kim… which I was fully expecting.

As I pulled into the driveway and parked behind Kim's Gremlin, I soaked in the sights in front of me. Half of the yard was just gone… nothing but dirt. The other half had piles of 2x4s all over the place as well as a random, old water heater. An oven that had seen better days and a few rolled up rugs flanked either side of the front entrance. It was an unclassifiable mess and yet it somehow looked nicer than Daniel's yard, which was practically hidden beneath rusted junk.

I hesitantly opened the screen door, which was just barely hanging on by a single hinge, and knocked on the front door. I had heard tales of just how 'psycho' Kim's parents were… well, her mother and her stepfather. She was very insistent that she was in no way, shape or form directly related to the 'slime' married to her mother.

'Whose at the damn door?!' I heard a male voice yell from inside and part of me, a very large part, was not looking forward to either adult answering my call for attention. To my relief, it was Kim who responded to my knocking. She smiled when she saw me, but something was off. Her eyes were red and puffy, not as if she had been smoking, but like she had been crying and she seemed a little shaky. Upon further inspection, her right cheek looked swollen and sore.

"Hey. What are you doin' here?" she asked through a voice that sounded just as unsteady as she appeared.

Reaching into my pocket, I replied, "I, uh, I got something for you."

She cocked her head to the side and quickly wiped away a tear that began rolling down her cheek. It was, in a word, heartbreaking. I didn't know what was wrong and I had even less idea of what to do.

"I managed to get these back last night after everyone scattered." I handed her back her cousin's old license. "I figured my beer fund better go towards some good cause since none of us were gonna get drunk."

Kim released a single laugh and covered her mouth as she took the card with her other hand. She seemed to be beaming just to get it back and hastily shoved it into the front pocket of her jeans before looking back up at me. "Thanks, Donovan. I-I really appreciate it."

We stood there in a vexing silence for a moment before I piped up again. "Is everything okay, Kim? You seem… I dunno."

She looked down to the ground and spoke in a voice that lost all of its Kim-ness. "Yeah, no, everything is… everything is…" There was a slight shuffle of her feet before she continued, "Donovan, would you mind staying here for a little while?"

Something was definitely wrong and I replied 'sure' without a second thought. As I stepped into the house I realized that I was walking into the gutted remains of a home. Some walls were finished, some had sheets of plastic over them, waiting for drywall, and others were nothing more than skeletal 2x4 frames with wires crossing through them like the tattered remains of an old cobweb.

"Who the hell is this? One of your other boyfriends?" the same voice from earlier bellowed out and a man staggered into the living room, barely able to balance himself.

Kim didn't look at him when replying, which lead me to believe that he was her stepfather and also the problem she was dealing with today. "This is my friend. Donovan Matsen."

I cleared my throat, "Nice to meet you… sir." I might have grimaced when I said that last word, I wasn't entirely sure, but it just felt... painful to say. I didn't even know the man and I could already sense he was not deserving of any respect.

"Save-" The man let out with a loud, wet burp and blew it out like some pleasant aroma. "Save it. If you're a friend of hers then you're prol- prol-… you're a bum. Get out of my house!"

Kim shot her head up, a look of terror in her eyes. I had never seen her act so browbeaten… and I never wanted to again. She began to protest. "No, he's-"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he yelled to me again, overriding her without concern.

A scrawny woman suddenly scampered into the room. "Jesus, Rob, keep it down. Chip is trying to sleep. Why are you yelling?"

Rob pointed at me with a hand holding a bottle of beer. The contents inside sloshed around violently, some even spitting out of the top and spilling onto the shag carpet beneath. "This little funk… I mean punk. You're daughta brought annudah punk to MY house!"

"OUR house," the woman corrected, "and she's allowed to have friends over… so long as she isn't LYING to us about them." She shot an accusatory look to Kim when finishing her sentence.

"I told you I didn't lie about everything I said about Lindsay. She IS smart and she IS my friend!"

I stood in awe of the dysfunction playing out in front of me. Was this what Kim's normal home-life was like? No wonder she lashed out at others so often without hesitation or remorse. She needed an outlet from being their outlet and anyone who crossed her path at school, be it student or teacher, would be a sufficient target.

"And what about him? Does he live in Benton Harbor in a vacation home, too?" the woman sneered.

"I- He-" she was stumbling for words.

I looked over to her and realized she was trying to choke back tears and stand up to her two bullying parent figures at the same time.

"I'm Donovan, a friend of your daughter. I live across town and dropped by to see if I could hang out with her for a while. I used to be a football player at McKinley until earlier this year… after I put a kid in a coma." I was looking at Rob when I admitted my reason for quitting sports, hoping he would get the point I was trying to make in an otherwise random and overly informative statement.

The woman seemed somewhat taken aback by my confession and huffed, "Nice 'friend' you've got here, Kim."

Rob stared at us for a moment before taking another swig of his beer. "Yeah, well keep it down. One kid's sleepin' and we're going ta watch _The $50,000 Pyramid_ marathon." He had dropped his offensive tone and lazily flopped onto the couch. My idle threat had no impact. "And don't think you're goin' nowhere neither, girly. I still got your car keys. You're lucky we don't sell that thing."

The woman, Kim's mother I assumed, joined him a moment later without saying another word.

Again I looked over at Kim and she was peering at the couple with a look of hated in her teary eyes. I was waiting for her to scream or start yelling profanities or simply just go crazy on them… but she didn't. Instead, she stomped off past them and down the hall. I wasn't entirely sure if I was actually given the okay to stay or not, but I really didn't care. All I wanted to do was make sure my friend was okay.

* * *

She had stormed into a room that merely had a shower curtain in place of a door. Soft sounds of sobbing flowed out as I got closer and I felt all at once lost, completely uncertain of how to console her. I still had my awkward guy moments where dealing with emotions was uncharted territory and this was now certainly one of them.

Timidly, I knocked on the chipped moulding around the curtain. "Kim… are you… can I…" I winced with irritation. Are you what? Can I what? I had no idea what to say.

The crying abruptly stopped and the sound of the faucet running could be heard. Was this the bathroom? It must have been. I listened to Dick Clark make small talk with the contestants of the show while waiting for… whatever the hell I was waiting for.

A minute later she shut the tap off and finally lightly called out, "Donovan, are you still out there? You can- you can come in."

"Ummm…" I replied to the perplexing invitation.

I heard her chuckle at my response. "I'm not using the bathroom or anything. There's just nowhere else to go in this stupid house. We know who's out in the living room, which is right next to the open kitchen, my brother is sleeping in my room and there's no way I'm going in their bedroom. So, please, just come in here."

I pulled the thin sheet of plastic aside and walked in, a pained look spread across my face as I still, for whatever reason, anticipated seeing something I wasn't supposed to. Kim was sitting on the toilet, though not indecently, but simply because it was one of the only surface areas to sit on in the cramped, unfinished room.

"See? Everything's fine, you big baby," she greeted. There was a damp washcloth in her hands and it looked as if she was attempting to conceal the fact that she had cried by irritating the rest of her face with the harsh fabric. She looked over at the sink in disdain and sighed out, "Except that Goddamn clog."

I peered over my shoulder into the hand basin and saw that it was indeed quite full and draining at an incredibly slow pace. A short survey of the fixture and I could see it had a pop-up plug. A smile crossed my face as I remembered an unfortunate mishap of curiosity I created as a child.

"I think I can actually help you with that," I laughed.

"Oh, what? Now you're a plumber, too?" she mocked.

I told her the tale of how, as a child, I would roam the house with a screwdriver in hand and methodically loosen and retighten every little bolt I could find and reach. I eventually moved on to taking other things apart and putting them back together, but that did not always turn out for the best. Sometimes I would put them back together wrong and, occasionally, I would lose interest altogether and not even bother trying. That was the case with our bathroom sink during my adventure in 'what's-this-do?' land. I had somehow managed to take apart a good portion of the pop-up plug while under the sink and, upon the realization that I simply wasn't strong enough to put it all back together, I went to my bedroom and started playing with my plastic dinosaurs. Ah hour later when my father went to use the bathroom, he nearly jumped out of his slippers when water began gushing out from the cabinet drawers as he washed his hands.

As her laughter generated from my inspiring story of handyman-ness subsided, she looked at me with a hint of curiosity in her eyes. "Do you really think you can fix it?"

I put on the best show of confidence and cockiness I could, eyeing the washbowl again to make sure it had emptied. "Pffft! Of course! …maybe."

The nice thing about the kind of drain stopper the sink had was that you really didn't need any tools to dismantle or reassemble it, and once you removed it, you had open access to the pipe.

"Oh God," she shook her head and buried her face in her palm, but not before I caught a glimpse of her smile.

I opened the doors below the sink and began to clean out the clutter stored within. "Just get me a metal clothes hanger that I can ruin, Blondie."

* * *

Less than ten minutes later I was fishing the long, flimsy length of wire down the drain. The gunk-covered pop-up part lay next to the sink, garnering looks of repugnance from Kim every few seconds.

"If that's grossing you out," I began to warn, lightly pulling up the wire with my catch on the other end, "you probably don't want to look at what I'm about to haul out of this hole."

She shook her head in defiance. "No, I'll be fin—Oh my God! That's disgusting!"

I tugged a clump of muck the length of a snake from the drain. It left a trail of blackish-green slime as it dragged against the porcelain surface of the sink.

"What the hell is that?" Her face was still contorted into a look of revulsion.

"Do you, uh, happen to wash that pretty, long blonde hair of yours in this sink?"

"Sometimes, yeah."

At that moment I could almost see the correlation come to fruition in her head.

"Wait, are you trying to say all of _that_ is _my_ hair? My mom does the same thing, ya know?"

I winked at her and began to crack up. "Then I guess you're both to blame, huh?"

* * *

"How much do our lives suck right now?" Kim asked as I pulled another clump of hair out. "I'm hiding out in the bathroom, trying to avoid the assholes in the living room while one of my friends is happily yanking scalp-sized servings of hair from the dark reaches of our bathroom pipes."

"Well, when you put it like that… yeah, our lives really suck right now. But, hell, I was so bored earlier today that I decided to drive to each of my friend's houses to hand deliver their IDs back to them. This is an upgrade." I removed the last collection of clog-inducing material I could reach and tossed it into the small bathroom garbage along with its counterparts. "So, what do you say we get out of here once I put this back together?"

She stood up and straightened her shirt. "That's the best idea you've had since you got here." Her small jab was proof that she was feeling better.


	8. Chapter 8 - Goes unpunished (Part 2)

**Chapter 8 – …goes unpunished (Part 2)**

* * *

"And just what have you two been doing?" Kim's mother, Cookie, asked. Her scowl was scrutinizing enough, but her tone took it over the top.

"Not what you're thinking," Kim scoffed in return and flowed past her to grab her coat.

"I knew I should have kept my eye on you two. I swear, if you guys-" Cookie stopped, finally paying attention to what her daughter was doing instead of patronizing her. "Where do ya think you're going?"

"Out." Kim's voice came out as exasperated and it was obvious that any interaction with her mother was an instant downer to her.

"Out? At seven at night? I'm about to make dinnah!" Cookie crossed her arms and squinted her view at us. "Of course. Time for drugs! You had sex, now you're gonna get high."

Kim returned her mother's judgmental gaze to her, the words she spoke seething with anger. "Get off my back already! We didn't do anything!"

"Now I wanna know just what the hell were you two doing back there?" Rob's booming voice caused Kim to jump a little.

"I-" was all I managed to get out before the famous Kim Kelly eye roll made an appearance and she groaned out a reply, cutting me off.

"He fixed the bathroom sink, okay? He did something you should have done years ago!"

Rob began to laugh like he just heard a preposterous lie. "Yeah, right. That thing needs a professional to fix it, not some idiot like your friend here."

"Go see for yourself!" Kim snapped back with a raised voice. "It drains faster than you can think now. Oh wait, it already did that even when it was clogged, dumbass!"

"You don't talk to him like that!" Cookie yelled.

His face dropped and he immediate began to clomp his way towards his stepdaughter.

"What did you say to me? Do you think I won't backhand you again because he's here? You WILL respect me you little bitch!"

Kim didn't flinch or back down, but you could tell she was expecting to be hit. I quickly injected myself between the two and Rob stopped just a few inches away from me.

"Out of my way, boy, unless you want a good knock, too!"

Kim began pulling at my arm. "Donovan, let's go. He's not worth- no, let's just go."

I took a few steps back as Kim's grip began towing me away, but my eye contact with Rob never broke until we made it through the door. I was pissed, as I now knew exactly why Kim's cheek was swollen and why she was hesitant to be herself in the presence of the drunk, but I never reflected it in my appearance. I just remained stoic. If a person can't read your face, they can't predict your actions and that always gives you the upper-hand… or at least that's what coach always said.

'Don't either of you bother comin' back!' I heard him yell as we got into my car. I looked over at him and my stomach sank when I saw him reel his arm back with a beer bottle tightly gripped in his hand. He was going to throw it. He was going to fucking throw it right at my car.

"Sonofabitch!" I wheezed as I scrambled for the door handle, but it was too late. I watched in horror as he clumsily shot his arm forward and, to my instant relief, he connected with one of the wood pillars holding up the awning above the entrance. The glass exploded into his hand and he yelled out some half-formed obscenity before cradling his bleeding appendage to his chest.

I spun the tires hard in the dirt driveway as we left; creating a monstrous cloud of dust that veiled Rob from our sight. We heard him yell out in agony again, followed quickly by Cookie's voice.

"Jesus! You're bleeding everywhere. What happened?"

* * *

This was the second time in about a month that Kim had taken flight from her house and sought refuge, relying on the kindness of her friends. She looked just as frustrated as I felt as we drove down the street. Biting on her thumbnail, she seemed to be focused on the passing scenery outside, but I could tell she was lost in thought.

"God!" she huffed out suddenly, almost in a fit, "I hate- I hate living with them, ya know? They make my life miserable and it's like I have no control. They give me flak all the time, never believe a thing I say and…"

She trailed off and, from the corner of my eye, I saw her touch her face where Rob had hit her earlier. "…and I just hate living there with them."

There were sporadic conversations for the next twenty to thirty minutes after that as we cruised around aimlessly, but neither of us really wanted to reminisce about what just happened. We drove by Daniel's, but his car was still gone so we figured he must be as well. Nick's place was out of the question, too, and both Ken and Lindsay's parents were not fond enough of her to let her crash at either of their houses.

A look at my watch reminded me of what time it actually was and that I was not only supposed to be home over a half-hour ago, but also that I was likely late for dinner and I had not even called. Kim seemed apprehensive about having to go back home, so I extended an invitation for her to join us, all the while trying to think of how to explain it to my folks.

* * *

I got the usual third-degree when we returned home and my dad wanted to know why I was gone for longer than I said I would be. My parents, especially my father, had grown a little weary of my newfound antics (such as being gone for long stretches of time without concern for contacting anyone) and it was beginning to show. Kim was standing in the living room and I had no doubt she heard me explain that I dropped by her house and stayed a while because there were a few family problems going on.

One of the many things I loved about my mom and dad is how understanding they could be to certain situations. When they heard about her predicament and the fact that she was still in tow and brought her appetite with her, they were more than willing to set up an extra spot at the table. My mother, being the inquisitive soul that she was, had a truckload of questions for my friend concerning her situation and, to my surprise, Kim had no problem opening up about them in front of all of us. She didn't go into full detail (the physical abuse would remain her and my secret alone), but there was enough information for us to get a picture of the broken home she went back to on a daily basis. When I thought about it, part of me understood why she was so agreeable to talk about it. It was a lot to keep inside and even getting a little bit of it out must have been a welcomed relief.

After we ate, my mother coaxed Kim's home number out of her and gave them a call, just to 'loop them in and let them know everything was alright' she said. She looked very distressed as the phone conversation continued and I imagined she was hearing more of the demeaning attitude I had earlier. She pulled me to the side a few minutes later, saying that Kim should probably stay at our house for the night with the reaction she got. They were still irate with her and a trip to the ER resulted in over one-hundred stitches to close various gashes in Rob's hand, which, again, was blamed on Kim.

My friend seemed comforted when the offer for an overnight stay was put on the table and she accepted it almost sooner than I could finish the question. I helped her turn the couch into a bed and said goodnight to my parents.

* * *

"You guys have, like, no idea how much I appreciate this," Kim breathed, "I just hope I'm able to get to sleep tonight after the shitstorm that was today."

I smiled, repeating a line I had used earlier, "I think I can actually help you with that. Let's go to my bedroom."

Her eyes grew so wide I thought they might just pop out of her head. "Donovan!" she said in a shocked tone.

"No, no," I laughed, "I know how that sounded, but it isn't what I meant. I just wanted to see your reaction. What I mean is, sometimes taking the edge off of a hard day with a little weed helps me sleep better. I'm not sure if it works for you, but…"

A grin quickly spread over her face. "Going to your bedroom sounds like a great idea all of the sudden."

* * *

I sat on the end of my bed, putting away my small collection of paraphernalia, but keeping a little bag out. Kim was sprawled out on the floor, looking much calmer than I had seen her all day as she reached the end of her second joint. She took a small 'break' in-between the two to smoke a cigarette. Personally, I would always much rather fill my lungs with a medicinal herb than nicotine, but I also understood it was an addiction that was very hard to break (my parents were proof enough of that)… and it was legal, whereas cannabis was not.

We had been hanging out in my room for the past hour, just talking, smoking and enjoying each other's company. She was enamored with the pictures I had up on my wall, ones that I had taken with the Canon AE-1 my cousin, Jacques (pronounced jock-quees, as I had to enunciate for her several times), had given me for my birthday. It was a five year old camera, but they were still pretty expensive to buy, so I knew it was another 'don't ask questions' kind of story. It was the first time anyone outside of my family has seen the images I captured and it was encouraging that they were so well received.

Her cheek had lost a lot of its redness, but I could see the faint hint of a nasty bruise starting up under her eye. One more toke and, after being held in for a few seconds, she sighed out a puff of smoke with a smile and stretched her arms far above her head. The light blue long-sleeved shirt she was wearing lifted slightly amid the strain and exposed a small portion of her midsection. Inappropriate thoughts began flooding my mind like a heavy rain.

I pushed the ideas out of my head, cursing myself for being so typical, and held my hand out to her. "Here, gimme the roach."

"You actually keep that shit?" she questioned with a laugh, passing it to me.

I wet my fingers and pinched it out for safe measure, placing it in the bag with my other ends. "Waste not, want not. There are dry seasons here."

She continued to laugh but instantly gasped when there was a short, rapid succession of thumps on my window. "What the hell is that?"

"That's my girl. She's on time, too, as usual." I reached up to move the curtains.

She furrowed her brow at my answer and, in an overly inquisitive voice, asked, "Who?"

_Was that a slight irritation I sensed in her tone?_

There was a set of small, bright green eyes staring back at us when I moved the cloth.

"My semi-adopted cat, Irina," I smiled, watching the grey feline stroll back and forth on the outer windowsill. I popped the latch, pushed the window open a little and Irina wiggled her way inside, hopping down onto my bed and rubbing up against me.

Kim smiled as she sat on the bed to join us. "Why do you call her Irina?"

"'Cause she's a Russian Blue and I'm not too original." I started stroking her short, soft fur and she instantly began her loud purr of appreciation.

Kim reached over to pet her, but Irina began to growl as her hand neared. "Someone's possessive!" she scoffed.

"What can I say? My touch drives the ladies crazy."

Kim and I both laughed and I got up to clear out my cat's food bowl. I had 'hidden' it in plain sight by treating it like it was some random holster for all of the crap I pulled out of my pockets. "She's probably just hungry. I'm pretty sure she has an owner, but I think they are using her as a mouser."

"In Chippewa?"

"Yeah, I know, it's odd. It's either that or her owner neglects her because I have bought two separate collars and put them on her and each time I did they were gone the next night she dropped by. Poor girl was skin and bones when she first pawed at my window."

I grabbed my water bottle, filled the bowl and scooped up a handful of cat food from the small bag I had behind my dresser. Even though I was sure she was a well-kept secret at first, I had a sneaking suspicion that my parents knew I was feeding and inviting a cat inside on a near-nightly basis. Sadly, all three of us were allergic to cat dander and it wouldn't take long before we would begin sneezing wildly with one around, but I couldn't help that I loved the damn things.

Reaching out the window, I poured the ample helping of food onto the windowsill and placed the water next to it, Irina's beautiful eyes following me all the while as her chest rattled with a purr.

"Sorry, girl," I said, running my hand across her head and picking her up, "but it is a take-out kind of night for you." She trotted over to her food and happily began to eat as soon as I placed her back down. I closed the window and looked back over at Kim, who now had a crooked smile on her face.

"Donovan Matsen, you certainly are a man of many faces, aren't you? A jock, a burnout, a sweetheart, a badass, a pothead and now an animal lover."

"Oh, I'm a regular jack-of-all-trades, master of none," I laughed.

"Certainly better than a master of one," she returned back slyly.

Glee spread across my face at her unexpected retort. "Oh, Miss Kelly, you're far smarter than given credit for. Alas, I must end our Renaissance imitation and head to bed, but I will bid you goodnight before I do."

"That was by far the geekiest thing I have ever been a part of in my life," she giggled out.

I started to head to the door when she called out, sounding a bit confused. "Hey, wait, where are you going? This is your bedroom, remember? I'm the guest."

"You can add 'Gentleman' that the list of yours, 'cause I'm taking the couch and letting you have the bed. No arguments. One night won't kill me. Just, ya know, control yourself. Don't go rooting through my underwear drawer or nothing."

Kim scrunched up her face and snorted out a response, "Gross!"

I exited as quickly as I could. I knew Kim would protest (well, no, not to raiding my underwear drawer, but the sudden sleeping arrangement switch) and I was losing the ability to put together witty responses, but, more importantly, I felt like I was getting a little too cozy around her.

* * *

I was busying myself trying to untwist the sheet on the couch when I heard a voice behind me.

"So, you gave her the bed, huh?"

I spun around in a slight fright, realizing who was talking halfway through my motion. "Geez, mom, you scared the crap out of me."

On nights when she had a particularly hard time getting to sleep, my mother liked to drink a cup of Chamomile tea. I wasn't sure if it was an actual remedy or simply a placebo effect, but either way it usually got the job done. She took a sip of her drink and continued on as if we had just entered into a normal conversation.

"I heard you two laughing and talking when I walked passed your room and don't think I didn't notice how you look at her."

Instant embarrassment. If my mom noticed, how could Kim not? Just like I thought, I was getting too cozy… and interested. What a walking contradiction I was turning into. How could I begrudge Daniel for his unfaithfulness when I was attracted to his girlfriend myself?

"She's a very pretty girl, Donny. Your other little girlfriend, what was her name? Victoria? She was pretty, too, but something about her seemed off. I don't know. I like Kim, though. She comes from trouble and I can tell she's got a little in her, but… it wouldn't hurt to see how far you two could make it, you know?"

"Mom!" I barked in a whisper. "Kim is one of my good friends, she has a boyfriend and… no, we're just friends. Geez."

_What is with this 'couple' theme everyone keeps placing on us today?_

She took another drink of her tea, smiling and calm as could be. "I had a boyfriend when I met your father. That changed."

I buried my face in my hands. "Oh my God. This isn't happening. This can't be happening."

"I'm just saying. That's all. Have a good night, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you, mom. Goodnight."


	9. Chapter 9 - Assassinate Lincoln

**Chapter 9 – Assassinate Lincoln**

* * *

The school was buzzing with adrenaline over the fact that our basketball team had done the impossible and actually made it to the regional finals. Ken seemed to be oblivious to this fact as we walked down the hall, not that it should have surprised me.

"Who's Lincoln?" he asked Vicki as she and another cheerleader strung a sign across the hall that read 'Assassinate Lincoln'.

"Our rivals." Vicki peered down at him wearing a look that said he was the stupidest person she had dealt with all day. I was desperately focusing my attention everywhere and anywhere except in her general direction.

The other cheerleader chimed in, "We made regionals. Isn't that cool?"

Ken, still dumbfounded by exactly what was 'cool' and banner-worthy, asked, "In what?"

"Basketball." Vicki must have looked at him again and spotted me, otherwise I have no idea why she would say what she did next, "You know, our only good team with good players who don't quit for no reason."

Finally remembering what he had found out a few months ago he quickly glanced at me with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Oh yeah! You two-"

"No, no." I covered his mouth and pushed him forward with my other hand. "We're done here, Move along."

Not one to disappoint, I heard Vicki begin scolding the other cheerleader a nanosecond later over something. We made our way over to Daniel and Kim.

It had been about a month since I witnessed the fallout at the Kelly household and neither of us had spoken a word about it to anyone else in the group. I could only imagine that both Daniel and Lindsay had seen similar events during their trips to her house, but it was the kind of thing you really didn't want to recall. She had covered the bruise with makeup and, if I didn't know for a fact it was there, I never would have guessed anything was wrong. That concept was actually somewhat scary to me because it made me wonder just how many times she had done a cover-up job in the past and no one knew.

"Did you guys hear about the basketball game?" Ken asked as we neared them.

_How could they not? They're not stupid!_

"_Pretty exciting_," he finished, sounding as if the notion couldn't be more boring to him.

_Oh, that's right; Mr. Miller is the endless fountain of wit and sarcasm. I'm the stupid one._

"I'm so sick of all this 'rah-rah' crap everywhere. These jocks think they're such badasses, walkin' around like they cured cancer."

I raised my eyebrows guardedly, holding up my hand ever so slightly. "Um, former jock, right here."

"They're just monkeys! 'Eee eee eee eee!'"

"Still right here and now slightly offended," I continued, but it was apparent that Daniel was trying to get under the skin of an actual jock and not paying attention to my banter. Ken gave me a reassuring pat on the back, as he was getting a chuckle out of it at least. Lindsay appeared and the conversation instantly switched to her and Nick. After requesting to speak with Kim privately (resulting in Ken being scolded for jokingly asking if Linds was pregnant), the three of us were left to our own devices… to naturally assume that she was, indeed, pregnant. The couple had progressively been getting heavier and heavier as their relationship continued, and last week Kim and Daniel were both sure they were going to have sex. Our speculation did not seem that far-fetched.

* * *

As it turned out, we were way off base. Nick and Lindsay weren't expecting… they were breaking up. It sucked, yeah, but everyone was making it out to be a super-big deal.

"Nick… does not exactly take break-ups well," Daniel confided after school as we all hurdled next to some lockers, "He kinda goes off the deep end."

Now my curiosity was truly piqued and I asked, "Such as?"

"Well, when Heidi Henderson dumped him he broke into her house and got into a fight with her dad. The cops got involved and everything."

"Okay, yeah, that's a little off the deep end."

Ken cleared his throat awkwardly as Lindsay turned the corner, signaling for all of us to shut up. A group of excited kids ran by, screaming about how we would kill Lincoln and that McKinley ruled. This, in turn, brought on more jovial jock bashing with Ken delivering a true zinger about attending the game because he heard we were going to lose and he thought it was funny when jocks cried. I couldn't help but burst into laughter when he started imitating a baby and whining about how the other team cheated. Sometimes it actually felt like that in the locker room after a tough loss.

The conversation went right back to the doomed relationship when we spotted Nick nearing from down the hall. Daniel practically begged her not to go through with it, but she didn't seem too conflicted about what she wanted to do.

* * *

Less than an hour later and Ken, Daniel, Kim and I were still hanging out around the school. If there was a class in loitering, we would all certainly be getting an A+. Ken had just let one rip and, in an effort to clear our minds of the stench, we all started talking about scents we liked instead of what was currently in the air.

"I really like the smell of coconut," Kim admitted with a hint of a smile. "It's calming, ya know?"

_Something coconutty for her birthday and some anti-gas stuff for Ken's. Check, _I thought to myself before contributing.

"I like the smell of rain. You can pick up on it before it even starts and it's just so, I dunno, refreshing and pleasant."

"Anything is pleasant in comparison to that," Kim smirked, looking to Ken momentarily.

Daniel began adjusting his beanie and fawned, "Man, I love the smell of gasoline."

Kim politely informed him that it results in brain damage and a very nice red convertible slowed to a stop in front of us.

My eyes began examining the fine piece of machinery ahead. _Oh, man, that's, uh… it's a…. oh come on, Donovan! Think!_

The driver asked something but I was still trying to remember what kind of car he was driving and didn't listen. Kim replied and then, finally… _A '68 Pontiac LeMans!_

"Norsemen suck!" the driver yelled and all four occupants began pelting us with water balloons before driving away as we all clumsily gave chase on foot.

What a fantastic way to end a Friday.

* * *

Surprise, surprise. Daniel's car needed some more work done on it. The four of us were hanging out in front of Aldo's Auto Salvage and Tow (nobody ever called him Aldo anymore, though, just Al), changing out the spark plugs and checking out the general well-being of all things under the hood. Somewhere along the way, conversation drifted to the status of Nick and Lindsay and just how we all viewed relationships.

"The dumbest thing you can do: Let a girl know how much that you like her. Then they just run," Daniel stated.

Kim looked at him questioningly, "Oh, is that why you're such a bastard to me?"

"Yeah, well you're still here aren't ya?"

He had a point, as a little bit of mystery is always welcome (so long as you're not hiding something truly horrendous), but I was of the opinion that wearing your heart on your sleeve from time to time was just as welcome and perhaps essential in many relationships. Before I could vocalize any of that though, I saw it out of the corner of my eye: the LeMans that had blitzed us the other day. I gently tapped Kim's arm and pointed in their direction.

She spotted the car and almost burst into a frenzy. "Oh man, there's that car! Those jocks from Lincoln that nailed us, that's them!"

We all jumped into the car and Daniel sped out after them.

* * *

It didn't take more than a few minutes to make it to their destination, a house in one of the nicer parts of town. When the coast was clear we pulled ahead of the parked car and all got out, Kim had a can of spray paint in hand. She held the can out to Daniel, telling him to do it and the two briefly bickered back and forth about why it was on him. Reluctantly, he took the bottle and began spraying the side of the '68. It honestly hurt to see something so nice being trashed, but they did deserve it. What hurt more was Daniel's spelling of 'you suck' that had been shortened and butchered to 'u-suk'.

Just as he finished, the blonde-haired driver came out from his driveway. "What are you doing?"

Daniel began to step back. "Um…"

"We're giving your car a new paint job!" Kim's voice boomed as she defiantly made her way towards the Lincolnite. "What are you gonna do about it, huh?"

_Damnit, Kim! We already tagged his car, are we supposed to smash his face in, too? Well, at least it's just him…_

"That's what you get water balloon boy!" Daniel finally jumped in.

"You're lucky we didn't do… wor…" I trailed off as four more of his friends came into sight. This was no longer good.

We all started backing up again, but Kim stood her ground, even pushing the blonde guy when he yelled out 'Look what that bitch just did to my car!' before moving back to us.

She was visibly pissed, but she usually was when anyone called her a 'bitch'. "Come on, Daniel, kick his ass."

The gang started descending upon us, with their ringleader mocking, "Kick my ass?"

I was nervous, but it was too late to back out now. I was bigger than any of them, save for the stocky motherfucker wearing the hat, but a five on four fight was still an underdog match that was not in our favor.

I heard Daniel whimper out 'Tell my mother I love her,' before I shot forward and pushed the ringleader into his friends. Two of them caught him and the other two rushed towards us. I traded hits with one of them, the second swing landed on my shoulder instead of my face and I violently thrust my knee into his gut and pushed him to the ground. I was about to barrage him with rights and lefts when the blonde guy tried to tackle me.

It literally made me laugh. Out of all the current chaos (I heard the others fighting behind me), the smallest guy tries to take on the biggest. In what was undoubtedly a rip-off of some wrestling move, I wrapped my arms around him and just hurled the little twerp into his own car.

I turned around to see how the others were fairing and someone grabbed my arms and twisted them behind my back before whirling me back around. The little leader was back in my sights, wearing a smirk this time and throwing his fist into my face repeatedly before moving to my ribs. My mouth was bleeding; I could feel it ooze down my chin with each hit that landed on my side.

Every time my brain yelled at me raise my legs up and plant the soles of my feet in his chest, his hit would send a jolt of pain through my midsection and make me gasp for air.

The force holding my arms back loosened and suddenly disappeared altogether as I heard a whimper of pain behind me. The blonde guy threw another punch my way but I deflected it and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt with both hands, pulling him in hard and thrusting my head towards his. I had seen guys do it all the time in movies and TV shows and it always looked cool. Holy shit was it _not_ cool, though. The 'thunk' sound that was created as soon as our heads made contact was gut-wrenchingly painful to hear. As soon as it happened I let him go and stumbled backwards, feeling like I had just cracked my skull open. The pain was instant and immense. The scenes where the guy who head-butts the other one and plays it off like he didn't feel a thing were complete and utter bullshit! This really hurt!

Upon putting my hand to my forehead I could already feel a goose egg growing. On the other hand, the tough guy was sprawled out on his back in the road, knocked out. It worked alright, it just wasn't worth it. I turned around and saw the guy who was holding my arms back, the stocky motherfucker, was now cradling his crotch and I could only assume one of my friends delivered a blow right between his legs. I laid a hard right cross into his jaw and knocked him out for good measure, too.

Daniel and Ken were pummeling the hell out of another and Kim was furiously kicking at the fourth as he tried to shield his body from the blows. The fifth one was halfway down the street, hightailing it as fast as he could.

"Come on, come on, let's go," I said, tugging on Kim's ripped shirt and staggering towards the Trans Am. I felt dizzy and sick as well, now. "Guys, come on. They're done," I mumbled and reached for the handle. We needed to get the hell out of there, post-haste.

* * *

"UUUUCCCCKK!" I yelled, fairly certain I had somehow skipped any 'F' at the beginning. Something hard, wet and cold had thumped against the sore spot on my forehead and it sent a shock wave of pain through my body.

_Was I asleep? When did that happen?_

"Oh shit, I'm sorry," Kim blurted out and once again placed the object on my bump, though much gentler this time.

Daniel shot his eyes to the rearview mirror. "What the hell are ya doin' back there, Blondie? You're spose'ta be holding the ice pack, not hittin' him with it."

I could see that he had a vertical gash next to his eye and a smaller horizontal one right above his nose.

"Well, if you'd stop driving like a maniac maybe I wouldn't have bumped him with it," she snapped back at him. Both her top and bottom lips were split in the same area.

"What happened to you?" I asked hoarsely. Along with my head, my mouth was throbbing with pain and it kind of felt like it was stuffed with gauze.

"Same thing that happened to all of us," Ken replied, turning to face us from the passenger seat. His red badge of courage came in the form of a bloody nose. "We kinda got our asses kicked until you got free and started smashing heads… and faces. I swear, man, I was waiting for you to turn green and Lou Ferrigno-ish. And you should've seen the look on the guy's face at the gas station when we asked for a few bags and filled them with ice from the fountain machine. He kept asking if we needed an ambulance."

I smiled, but even that hurt. Our antics knew no bounds.

"Daniel, slow down." Kim's voice came out deliberate and stern.

"We're not gonna make the start of the game if we don't hurry. We're gonna crush 'em. We're gonna crush 'em on the court as bad as we did on the street and I wanna be there to see it."

"No," she shook her head, "we need to drop him off at home first. It's on the way. It'll only take a minute to just stop and let us out."

"Us? You're not comin' to the game?"

"Look at him! He'd be in better shape if he fell off a cliff and hit every rock on the way down. Someone needs to explain what happened to his parents."

Daniel seemed irritated, but I knew how he felt. I had been there, in the zone so deep that you don't want to do anything else but what your focused on and any little distraction is unbearable.

I was so exhausted I kept going in and out and I knew that wasn't a good sign. If I had a concussion then sleeping was the very last thing I should be doing and I was playing with the fact that I could slip into a coma if worse came to worse. Daniel dropped us off and asked if we needed them to stick around, but Kim waved him off. My dad was away in Detroit on a career fair, which wasn't exactly unusual since he had to go to such events quite a bit with the job title he held, but my mother nearly fainted when we walked through the door with the injuries we had. She immediately rushed us to the car and drove to the hospital. Kim refused to be seen, but I didn't really have a choice. My visit lasted for just over two hours, and with the help of some x-rays and various stints of poking and prodding, my attending doctor delivered some good news and some bad news. While he concluded that I didn't have a concussion, any broken ribs or a cracked skull, my sides were heavily bruised and the inside of my left cheek had a deep gash from the face pummeling I got. It required stitches and the doc 'heavily recommended' that I go to my dentist ASAP just to be on the safe side. I was feeling extremely loopy with the shot of pain medicine I was given and almost everything after that was consumed in a blackout.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thoughts? Am I veering off-track? Does it even seem like I have a track? Please, readers, let me know. You don't have to leave a review, a simple PM would work if you think this story is starting to stall or anything. I know where I want to go with this, but sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees...**

**Also, I had a good amount of character tags added to our beloved F&G section here on FFN. If any of you have a story or two here, update them with characters! :)**


	10. Chapter 10 - Disappointment in innocence

**Chapter 10 – Disappointment in innocence**

* * *

I woke up in my bed to the sound of my parents arguing back and forth. Everything was dark, but the moon was shedding its pale light through the window, providing at least some level of illumination. I shifted slightly and realized I wasn't alone. As my eyes began to focus in the dark, the blonde hair in front of them was a dead giveaway to who it was: Kim.

We were lying in my bed, facing each other. I listened to her softly breathing as she slept, while my head had a mini-explosion of panic.

_Oh shit! What the hell happened… and should I remember any of it? _

I began summing things up, taking note of our surroundings. The bed was made and we were sleeping on top of the covers, my bedroom door was slightly ajar and I would remember if something came about… right?

_Of course, so don't be stupid. Nothing happened. We're both fully clothed for crying out loud._

Again my eyes wandered to her as my brain brought me to my senses. She looked peaceful as she slept (which was not exactly a look I was accustomed to seeing on her) and beautiful, too. Unquestionably beautiful. She was one of the few girls who looked just as stunning, if not more so, without the accompaniment of makeup. Her lips moved slightly as her eyes darted back and forth under her lids. She must have been dreaming. I smiled and gently swept a clump of hair that was lying on her cheek to behind her ear, just as I had seen her do a hundred times before. Her blond mop was in a tangled, unkempt mess, but I'll be damned if it didn't actually add to her appeal, bordering on sexy even.

I scrunched up my face for a moment upon the realization that there was something faintly slippery feeling on my lips. I touched them with my tongue slightly and was greeted by the taste of… strawberries?

_What the hell did I eat and why was it still on my lips?_

* * *

My parents' voices spilled into the room, both raised, but neither really yelling.

"Mel, this isn't right and you know it. He's been wandering down the wrong path ever since he started hanging out with those kids. He keeps skipping classes, he won't tell us where he's going half the time and we both know he's been sneaking out at night and now this—assaulting kids from other schools over water balloons and a trip to the ER?!"

"They were jumped! Yes, they did something stupid and retaliatory, but they didn't deserve what those kids did."

"And what do we do if they decide to get the police involved? This could be his second close call to getting in all kinds of legal trouble."

"The Addler family dropped the idea of a lawsuit and there is no way those kids are going to admit they beat on a girl."

"A girl who is still here! Still here and now sleeping with our son!"

"Oh, Jesus, Keith! They're not sleeping together, they fell _asleep_ together. She was going to call her boyfriend and have him pick her up, but the next thing I knew she was out like a light next to Donny. They were both exhausted and, with Kim's mother working the night shift, there is no way I was leaving her with that stepfather of hers. You saw what he did to her last time she was here. Honestly, you're comparing apples to oranges and you know it."

_…__Thank God?_ I felt a tad conflicted about how innocent our situation suddenly became. She felt comfortable enough around me to sleep in the same bed and, as far as I could tell, there was more sexual tension between two rocks than we had. This was clearly the 'you're like a brother to me!' grey area and I was lingering on the definition of insanity if I expected anything to change. I needed to just drop this infatuation and start paying attention to other girls again.

I heard my dad release a long, heavy sigh. "I just…I'm worried about him."

My mom's serious tone instantly took on a much softer approach as she spoke. "I know you are and I am, too. He will always be our little boy… no matter how big he gets, but he's almost seventeen. We can't expect him to hang on our every thread of advice and not go against the grain once in a while. He needs to find things out on his own, he needs to experience things on his own and we can't help him with that, only he can. What we have to do is trust him and be there for him."

"I want to believe that, but it is so hard to watch him make mistake after mistake…"

"Come on, baby. It's late, you had a long drive home from Detroit and I'm sure you're tired. Let's just go to bed. The three of us can sit down and talk tomorrow and maybe we'll work something out that will help us all feel better."

_Oh great… that's not going to be an agonizing conversation at all,_ I sarcastically thought to myself.

The dull pain in my face started to become more and more knifelike and I closed my eyes, willing myself back to sleep before it became too intense. I should have got up and taken something, but I was stubborn and… I didn't want to disturb Kim.

* * *

It didn't take long for the throbbing to wake me up… or maybe it did… I don't know what time it was when I woke up originally. In any event, the setting was still the same: night with a splash of moonlight thrown in. I shimmied off the bed and mildly as I could, attempting to be ninja-like in my movements, but failing badly (I couldn't help but notice her begin to turn as I left the room).

A quick fumble of my hand across the wall and a blinding light seemed to have lit the bathroom on fire. I stumbled across the cold tile floor with scrunched eyes, reaching for the medicine cabinet door as I neared it.

"No, no," Kim's groggy voice weakly commanded. The sudden break in silence put me into a wide-eyed fright which led to me immediately squinting them shut again as the burst of light gave an additional, albeit different, shock.

"You got some pain pills; Tylenol 3 or something. Your mom put them right there, next to the sink."

I released a grunt of acknowledgement and snagged up the dark orange bottle, briefly fighting with the child-proof cap. I glanced up at the mirror as my struggle continued. The damage was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The goose egg was actually the same size, if not even smaller, than a golf ball and my cheek was only slightly inflamed. There were a few scrapes, cuts and bruises all over, but nothing I hadn't been decorated with before.

"But you should eat first. Pain pills on an empty stomach will make you sick."

I turned to face her, my sight finally adjusting to the reintroduction of light. She still looked bushed and her hair was displaying a heavy case of bed head on the side she was lying on. I laughed and cradled my face as pain jerked through it.

"You're being awfully mothering here," I croaked out, noting how muffled my voice sounded.

She flashed a half smile, "I just wanna get you drugged so I can go back to sleep. 'sides, it was kind of my fault this happened anyway."

"No, it wasn't," I disagreed, following her into the kitchen with my pain pill in hand. "We all followed him looking for a fight… we just thought it would be a four on one."

"I'm the one who pushed him first."

"Doesn't matter. His friends were there by that point and there was no way they would just let us drive off, even if we didn't say a word to them."

"Well… whatever." She plopped two pieces of bread in the toaster and we stood there in silence, waiting for them to pop back up in a golden-brown color.

"How do you know where everything is?" I asked her as the realization that she did not need to ask me where the toaster or bread was.

She shrugged her shoulders indifferently. "I pay attention, I guess. I like knowing my surroundings; where this is, where that is, where the doors are in case I need to leave in a hurry…"

Her home life had obviously made her very cautious of everyone and everything and to always have a plan B.

She looked around and seemed to be at a loss. "Butter knife? And butter?"

"Aha!" I teased, "You never scoped out the elusive silverware drawer."  
She smirked, "Better make it a steak knife so I can stab you for good measure."

* * *

As we ate, both taking more than an ample amount of time for a single slice of toast, I asked her what happened after the hospital because I truly couldn't remember anything post pain-shot. I was half-amused and half-horrified to be told that I acted silly and almost child-like. It was embarrassing, but at the same time she seemed to be highly entertained that I kept shushing her mid-sentence as she talked to my mother and I would flip people off at stop lights while looking high as a kite with a smile from ear to ear on my face.

I gladly took my Tylenol, hoping it would somehow take away the memory of how stupid I had acted in front of her, and Kim took me by the hand, leading me back to bed. It took her all of a minute to fall asleep again, but I had to wait for the pain to recede somewhat before my eyelids became heavy.

The more I got to know Kim, the more I understood that there was a very large difference in how she acted on the outside and how she operated on the inside. She was always on the defensive, but felt at fault for most situations she was involved in (she wouldn't admit to something like that, but if you could read her right you could easily see it) and the 'I don't care' bitchy attitude she wore with pride was marred by just how much she loved everyone who was important to her. I wasn't the only one struggling with a conflict of standards to uphold… not by a long shot.

* * *

I dropped Kim off at her house the next morning, after narrowly convincing my folks I was okay to drive, and took my sweet time returning home for 'the talk'. It had to happen eventually, I knew that, but I also needed time to think of proper responses for my side of the debate, the side where I wasn't barred from my friends.

The conversation didn't go over as badly as I feared it would, even if the irritating subject of football kept creeping in, and most of it was just a rehashing of what I overheard the other night, but there was one thing my dad said that kept repeating in my mind long after we finished talking.

"Son, you've got to think of five, even ten years from now. Where are you going to be? Where do you want to be? More importantly, can you get there on the current road you're traveling?"

It wasn't a bad question, and certainly not one that I hadn't already asked myself, but the problem was that I didn't have an answer. I didn't know what I wanted out of life, how to get there or if I even could. I only had a little over a year before I truly hit adulthood and to not have a plan or even an inkling of an idea was unsettling when I really thought about it.

* * *

Things hit a bit of a rough patch in the group when Kim and Lindsay had a falling out of sorts. Mrs. Kelly was invited to the Weir's house for dinner after the girls were caught hitchhiking and, in what I found to be very typical of Cookie, she did nothing but bash her daughter's name in front of her friend's parents. Turmoil ensued the next day at school and yada, yada, yada, stuff happened. I really tried to keep out of whatever it was that was going on. Kim would start up and get pissed at me for not listening and then, during my next class, Lindsay would say she had no idea what her problem was and drone on and on about whatever while I strained to convey that I didn't want to get involved. I wasn't _trying_ to be an asshole; it was just an unfortunate byproduct of my current state of mind. Not that it truly mattered much. Their little spat lasted just a few days before they were all hunky-dory again. I simply didn't have time for other people's problems when my dad and, more recently, Coach Fredricks were making me question going back to something I had sworn off just months ago.

It started when Fredricks called off gym class to figure out who the prankster among us was. Apparently someone had been calling his house since Tuesday night and kept giving him trouble.

I looked at the script I was supposed to read aloud as I sat in front of his desk.

"Fredricks, you're a turd! A stinky, fat turd! Go sniff a jockstrap, you poop-head."

That was about as far as I made it before I nearly went mad with laughter and I fully understood why Alan White couldn't control himself. Coach was not in the mood to be laughed at, but I just couldn't help it.

"Coach, you know me," I finally defended, stuttering my amusement. "I wouldn't- This isn't my style."

He sighed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I know, but I didn't want it to look like favoritism or anything."

"So… can I go now?"

"Um, no, actually," He cleared his throat and looked at me like he meant business. "Your father called me. He's, uh, he's worried about you."

"Aw, geez," I dropped my head backwards dramatically. "The football thing again? Not you too."

"Come on, Donovan, he's just looking out for your future and so am I. You're good at football, you really are, and that alone can get you into a good college where you can get an education that will prepare you for life outside of the sport if you really don't like it. Can your new friends offer you that? I don't think so. Look, I know what happened with Tommy Addler shook you up a bit and I don't blame you for wanting to take a break… but don't walk away from this kind of opportunity. Come back. Come back to us next year and I will sing you endless praises and make sure you are seen by so many scouts that colleges will be knocking down your front door to personally hand you a scholarship."

If there was one thing I could commend Coach Fredricks on it was the dedication to not just his job, but the kids under his guidance. Sometimes we would get lost, one way or another, and he always did his damnedest to put us back on the right track.

The worst part of his whole speech? The fact that he had a point. Nothing against my friends, but they simply couldn't open doors for me like sports would. Barring some sort of radical brain transplant, there was no way I would get recognized for my intellect and grades the way Lindsay does, either. While my GPA had actually improved under my own will since dropping football and financial aid was provided to a B average student like myself, the chance of getting my name picked out of a hat with thousands of others was rather slim and, without the help of a scholarship or two, there was no way my parents could afford anything more than community college tuition.

Responsibility blows.


	11. Chapter 11 - Subtle, meddlesome wrath

**Chapter 11 – Subtle, meddlesome wrath**

* * *

To say I was pissed at Kim would be an understatement. She pulled the same type of shit twice… and in the same week, no less! I could understand that she was in a bad mood the first time. Hell, we all were. But the second time? Well, that was just downright malicious.

It all started after a mishap with the Weir family car (okay, maybe that is a slight understatement… the thing got totaled. I was just glad not to be a part of it thanks to the impeccably good timing of my dentist visit where I was informed there was no further damage to my mouth).

Lindsay had pulled a full one-eighty on us and banished the freaks from her life, scolding us all with a bit of harsh reality in the process. According to her astute observations, we were all lost causes who were completely selfish and didn't care about being smart or going to school… or anything, really. Her words stung. They stung like a son of a bitch because we all knew Lindsay, and she was never mean unless she meant it. Again, it was another introspective opinion on what I'm _not_ doing with my life and future. Underneath it all, though, her bitter words held glimpses of truth all throughout. All of us were, in some way, shape or form, selfish in our actions and requests (I'm of the firm opinion that there is no such thing as a 'selfless' act in the entire world, even if someone sacrifices their life for another in the process). Some of us could have cared more about doing better in school (Daniel and Nick), and the same went for skipping classes or days altogether (Kim), but were our lives already a 'lost cause'? I didn't think so, but I wasn't about to try to wax fanatical with her on the matter… I would just get a verbal ass-whoopin' that way. I had to wonder though, even if she was beyond pissed, did she say those things in the hopes that at least one of us would successfully prove her wrong?

We sulked about what she said during lunch, we sulked about what she said to each other in classes… we continued to sulk when we all went to Stackey's for lunch after school (sans Linds, of course).

In a moment of frustration, Daniel snapped his straw when it wouldn't go into the lid of his drink right away. Out of all of us, I think he was the most deflated by Weir's scorned words of wisdom, as each insult and demeaning insight seemed tailored specifically to him. I went to the counter to get him another and, much to my surprise, the cashier began flirting with me. This girl had a face to kill for. She was a redhead (undoubtedly dyed, as the shade was far too bright to be natural, but it looked good on her) sporting a sensual smile through full, parted lips that curved up and into her high check-bones. A simple, quick flash of her dark-green eyes and I instantly felt pulled in for more. With a little chat, I found out her name, that she was a senior from Mt. Clemens and, as luck would have it, she didn't have any rock-solid plans for the weekend. There was a slight lick of her lips and rise in her slender, curved eyebrows when I asked for her phone number and I swear my heart began pounding loud enough to be heard by half of the restaurant.

"Hey, Matsen," a familiar voice spoke up behind me, "what the hell is taking so long? It's a friggen straw!"

_Oh, hello Kim. It sounds like you're in a last name mood. I don't really have time for that right now._

Keeping my eyes on my weekend date, I bent my arm back and handed my friend the drinking utensil, holding it just above my shoulder. I felt her snatch it from my loose grasp and release a single huff of discontent. The cashier, Christina, was ripping off the piece of paper with her number on it when Kim walked up next to me and practically slammed her palms onto the counter, hunched over and glared at her through tightened lids, wearing a menacing scowl.

"Thanks for the straw," she said in a way that almost turned it into a taunt.

No other words were exchanged, but in the few seconds that their stares were held, some kind of conversation took place.

"Uh, Kim…" I began as Christina lost all expression in her face and looked to the ground. The interference came too little, too late though. My would-be-date crumpled up the paper and stuffed it into her work apron before disappearing into the back area.

_No, wait! Wha… What was_

"that?" I finished my thought aloud as Kim turned around and went back to our table, straw in hand. "What was that?"

I stood there for a minute, hoping she would come back out, as her coworkers gave me an awkward side eye.

"Your food's getting cold, Donovan!" Daniel yelled out.

I sullenly made my way back to my friends and took a seat, trying to decide if it was even worth making a fuss about. Ultimately I couldn't help but question it. Kim was such an enigma to me and I couldn't figure out what made her tick in the odd ways she did… especially this time around. "What was that back there, Kim?"

She attempted to look puzzled, like she had no idea what I was talking about. "What? Look, I don't know what happened between you and little miss 'hot to trot' at the counter. I was just trying to get a better look at something on the menu behind her and thanking you for the straw."

"What? Hot to trot?" Daniel suddenly looked interested as he almost choked on his gulp of pop. "Donovan, man, you holdin' out on us?"

Even Ken perked up. "Wait, the redhead? Oh, man, she was hot! But… I thought she was in love with me."

"In your dreams, Ken."

"Oh, like she's not gonna be in yours?"

"That's about all from the looks of it." I pointed my questioning gaze at Kim once again, pining for some sort of answer, but she just rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Daniel.

* * *

Lindsay continued to either avoid or outright ignore us the next day at school and it was almost as if she was trying to re-root herself into her old life… she even joined the mathletes again!

I found Daniel moping around the halls after school let out. He was just roaming without direction, all alone.

"Are you practicing for hall monitor duty or something?" I grinned, quickening my pace to catch up with him.

He looked in my direction momentarily, but didn't answer. He appeared dejected and uncertain about something.

"What's got you down in the dumps, man?"

He shook his head and looked forward into the emptiness ahead of us again. "Nothin', just thinkin'"

"About?" I prodded. It wasn't always easy getting in Daniel's head and figuring out how the wheels turned in there. Then again, the only two in our group who I actually found to be predicable were Nick and Ken… and even they surprised me from time to time, so maybe I just sucked at reading people.

"Lotsa stuff," he shrugged indifferently, burying his hands in his pockets. "Like, maybe Lindsay was right, maybe my life is a lost cause."

"You can't-" I began and suddenly stopped, realizing I had to guide this in a way that sounded sophisticated if I were to attempt countering her words. "You can't just take what she said at face value. There are a lot of factors and differences she simply didn't take into account with her brash statement. All of our lives are totally dissimilar. She says we don't care about being smart but I would bet that she can't hold a candle to you when it comes to stuff like cars or… cars."

My voice trailed off, damn near disappeared altogether, as I repeated the one and only thing I knew Daniel was passionate about. Oh God did this ever sound weak and uninspiring… I guess I can cross 'motivational speaker' off my future job prospects list.

It was clear that my answer was just as unsatisfying to Daniel as I feared it was.

"Okay, maybe I'm not the best person to give an opinion because you're my friend and I have faith in you. Find some random kid, preferably one you haven't terrorized, and see what they think of you. That should settle it."

"Yeah, maybe."

I decided to switch subjects to see if anything could cheer him up. "Speaking of cars, though, I overheard Lindsay's little brother mention that Betty still needs a new fender and the mechanic is taking his time. Wanna go to Al's with me and see if we can help 'em out?"

There was that Desario smile. "Shit, yeah, man! That could get her blessing for us again, huh? It's a Buick, right?"

I nodded my head and tossed him my keys. "You drive."

"Aw, hell yeah. This day is startin' to get better."

* * *

Friday rolled around and, again, Lindsay was giving us the cold shoulder. We had a plan, though, one that we would have to wait until the mathlete scrimmage to unveil.

"Hurry it up, Donovan. We're gonna be late," Daniel moaned as I lagged behind him, hauling the fender by my lonesome.

"We already _are_ late. Why the hell do I have to carry this solo?" It's not that it was heavy, it was just a thin piece of metal, but it dug into my fingers after just a minute and it was an irritating, constant pain.

"'Cause you're the muscle," Ken chuckled as he briskly walked alongside Daniel.

I sucked in a breath of air as I painfully whacked my knee against the metal. "Then I guess I'm the brains, too, since it was my idea."

"You can be whatever ya want to be, just come on. Kim said she would save us some seats."

"Oh yeah," I scoffed, "I'm sure something like this draws in a crowd to rival that of a football game on a Friday night."

Ken slowed down and finally grabbed one end of the fender, smirking all the while. "Reminiscing a little?"

We passed by Nick going in the opposite direction and I was about to call out to him when Ken stopped me.

"Don't bother. He's still going through the motions. He'll hang out with us again when he's ready."

The start of a complicated math question greeted our ears as we entered the room, attempting to remain as quiet as possible. Kim waved us over to the back row, displaying an overly-large smile as she looked at the fender we found.

"This is gonna be perfect," she whispered as we all took our seats, seeming genuinely excited.

We all cheered our McKinley peers on (they were going up against Lincoln after all) as the scrimmage continued. Our shouts and howls, especially Kim's, really erupted when we saw Lindsay stand to take her turn and we all lifted the replacement fender with pride as she looked back at us. Even if we were on the outs, she was still special to us and we were all proud of her. Mr. Weir looked back at us too, but he seemed more perplexed than enthused by what he saw.

My hopes were high that we made some sort of good impression on Linds when she seemed lost in a trance for a moment before putting her game face back on.

As our friend tore through the competition, I heard Kim lament, "Damn, I've never felt so stupid in my whole life."

Honestly, I had to agree with her. The only thing that made me feel as remotely dim-witted as this was when I would watch _Jeopardy_ with my parents. Actually, at least with _Jeopardy_ I could get a question right every now and again. Suddenly I realized just how idiotic my suggestion to Daniel about his car knowledge far surpassing Lindsay's truly was. When pitted up against this kind of intelligence, knowing your shit about cars didn't even begin to compare. Then again, I don't think she was trying to insinuate that we didn't care about being as smart as she was (that was a mountain none of us freaks could climb), just in general.

After a few more mind-numbing equation questions, Lindsay scored a perfect round for McKinley and we gave her a standing applause.

"So… can we… leave now?" Ken asked awkwardly, as if he was working out the answer in his head as he spoke.

Kim glared at him for a moment. "No, idiot, we have to stay to the end so we can congratulate Lindsay."

He sighed and plopped back down into his chair as the next McKinley representative took her place.

I leaned slightly towards Daniel, keeping my eyes on Lindsay's teammate. "Is it just me or, uh, is that mathlete chick kinda hot?"

He laughed and put on that half-smile he was so comfortable wearing. "Ya know, if you were talkin' about any of those other girls, besides Lindsay of course, I would tell you your hormones were giving you beer goggles… but, yeah, she is actually pretty hot. Didn't peg you for a bookworm type, though."

At the point, I was willing to take just about any type. I didn't know if I wanted a full-on relationship or simply to test the waters and see what may come of any new friendships I forge.

The McKinley mathlete seemed completely stumped or distracted or something…she just couldn't focus. Unfortunately, she fumbled the first question without even trying.

"Oh man, that's a pretty good in for you now. She's gonna need some consoling."

Daniel and I started to crack up and were instantly shushed by a few spectators in front of us.

McKinley ended up winning, but we never got a chance to congratulate Lindsay. Hell, we didn't even get a chance to give her parents the fender. We were bickering back and forth about it before I finally just said I would stash it in my trunk again and drop it off at the Weir house when we were all on good terms.

* * *

Salvatore's Italian Deli. Before I started hanging with my crazy new friends, I didn't even know this tiny little place existed. Once I was introduced to it, though, it was almost love at first sight. The setting alone was inviting and nostalgic for the fact that it looked like something you would see in an old black and white movie. You wouldn't believe the rolls of film I went through just taking pictures of the place and the people who make it what it is. The 'L' shaped building was a small collection of shops, including a convenience store, Salvatore's and a liquor place. There was supposedly a thrift shop there too, but it was never open from what I could tell.

The deli was my favorite of the bunch. The burgers and pizza were top notch (I can say with confidence that Stackey's had nothin' on Sal) and it just had this look about it, both inside and out, that made me want to be there, that made me feel comfortable and at home. From the decorative, hand-painted wooden pizza and assorted slices donning the outer wall, just above the counter with seating for two, to the brightly-lit inside with its counter seating on one side of the entrance and the three tightly clustered table-seating arrangements on the other; there simply wasn't anything I found displeasing about the establishment. Even the regular patrons were nice to us and Sal (or his son, Tony, when he was working the night shift) would always greet us with a smile.

It was _our_ hangout spot and tonight was just like any other where we had no idea what to do. Ken and I were sitting next to Nick on the hood of his Ford Maverick when Kim suggested that we all go see a foreign film. Ken, in a seemingly sarcasm-free response, asked what the point was (though I assume he was attempting to stump Blondie) and he was matched evenly by Kim's snappy comeback as a result, implying he was a dumbass and maybe he shouldn't be for once in his life. I laughed into my straw at her reply, being caught slightly off-guard. Daniel agreed to go with her and Ken finally had to give in, but not without quipping, "It just better not be about a guy who talks a lot!"

Low and behold a familiar face turned the corner and we witnessed our dear Weir had found her way back to us and we couldn't have welcomed her return with more open arms.

Even though we had all hung out together and done stuff over the past few weeks, it was always in groups that never consisted of all six of us. Going to this foreign film would be the first time the whole gang had been present for something in a while and there was a certain excitement about it.

* * *

The film was promoted as being the '1978 Academy Award Winner for Best Foreign Language Film,' but I knew right off the bat that it was going to be a struggle to enjoy it. I mean, the English translation of the title literally read 'Get Out Your Handkerchiefs'… not a good sign.

Just before the lights dimmed and the film began, I noticed the girl sitting in front of me turn around and give me a quick once-over, smiling as she turned back to the screen. I didn't pay it too much attention at the time, as Ken, Nick and I were joking about something, but once the opening titles began and she did the same thing again, I decided to move in to give her a closer look. Besides, I needed one, too.

"You mind?" I asked, motioning to the open seat next to her.

The girl shook her head, still smiling and still glancing.

"I don't, um, I don't generally watch foreign films. This will be my first actually. My friends talked me into it. You?"

"No, my friends talked me into coming here, too, but… I think they ditched me."

Thinking of what I would do in a similar situation, I granted her a cheeky smile. "They bailed on you to make out, huh?"

She began to laugh and turned in her seat to better face me. "Probably."

She was cute, or at least as cute as I could perceive her to be with various colors from the movie screen bouncing off our faces.

"So what made you want to move from the comfy spot next to your friends?" she asked, looking hopeful for some kind of complimentary answer.

I grinned, "Oh, well, the view is just so much better from here… and I can still see the movie pretty well, too."

I felt someone push on the back of my seat as Kim's voice interrupted our conversation. Her attitude sounded sweet and friendly.

"Hey, Donovan…"

_Oh, no. Please no._

"Your drink isn't so cold anymore. It should stop hurting the sores in your mouth," she finished and clumsily shoved the cup of water at me.

My jaw dropped, I looked to my lap and I swear I could feel my whole body jolt as a wave of embarrassment washed over me.

The cute girl almost mirrored my awestruck facial expression. "I think… I need to go find my friends now," she blurted, scurrying to stand and exit my very presence as quickly as possible.

After burying my face in my palms while all five of my friends laughed their asses off at the tragedy they just witnessed, I looked back at Kim, shaking my head in disbelief. "Why? Just… why?"

"What?" She defended, "I meant your cut!"

"Bull! You know that healed. You called to see how I was doing after the stitches were removed!"

"Oh, did I? Must have slipped my mind," she smirked and shifted her gaze back to the screen.

I disappointedly slumped back to my original seat, wondering exactly what I did to incur the subtle, meddlesome wrath of my friend.


	12. Chapter 12 - Words of Weir-sdom

**Chapter 12 – Words of Weir-sdom**

* * *

I pulled over on the side of the road right in front of Lindsay's house. After the midnight movie (which none of us liked. It was just too weird, no matter what language it was in), we made plans for me to drop the fender off in the early afternoon.

Mr. Weir greeted me at the door and helped me carry the piece of exterior shell into the garage.

"Say, you'll thank everyone for me, right? This'll look… nice." He was trying to sound pleasant, but I could hear disappointment faltering in his voice as he compared the cream colored fender to the rest of his light blue Buick.

"No, it won't," I laughed and he looked at me oddly for a second before cracking a smile and laugh of his own.

I told him we could paint it to match, or at least Daniel said we could, once we got the exact paint color of the rest of the car.

Though it was apparent that they had their apprehensions about the company their daughter kept, Lindsay's parents were very nice and welcoming people overall. Mrs. Weir kept asking if there was anything she could get me and Mr. Weir seemed extremely interested to know if I was looking for a part-time job. Her little brother, Sam, mainly kept to himself, but I would catch him studying me every now and then, as if he was trying to determine if I was going to freak out or something. I hung around the house for a while, getting my first real good look at it without waves of teenagers everywhere, before deciding to say my goodbyes and get on with my day.

Linds followed me out to my car and, upon spotting my camera equipment in the back seat, asked me where I was going.

"Oh, uh, nowhere in particular," I answered nervously, realizing what she had seen.

She looked a little disillusioned, "So you're not going to take some pictures or something? Kim says you have a really good eye."

My eyes widened, "She when? I mean, what did she say that? No- that-"

Tongue-tied. I was irrevocably tongue-tied in surprise.

She began to laugh, "Whoa, calm down. It's not like she exposed you for being a superhero or something."

It wasn't the photography secret being out that I was really concerned with, but just what else had Kim shared with her best friend?

"She, um, yeah. What else did she say about… anything?"

"I dunno," Lindsay smiled, "maybe we can talk about it on the way to nowhere in particular. Just hold on, I need to tell my parents I'm heading out with you and I'll be back later."

* * *

"So, really, where are we going?"

I scratched my head as I pulled back onto the street. "I was gonna go to Belle Isle and spend a few hours there just taking pictures of whatever caught my eye. That cool with you?"

"Very," she breathed, sounding pleased. "I've been boxed up at home for most of the week and going out anywhere sounds good."

Our destination was about an hour away and on the way there we talked about nearly everything under the sun, switching subjects so fast it made my head spin sometimes. She felt bad about what she had said the day after the accident, but she was truly worried for some of us… she just could have thought of a more eloquent way to put it out there. Toward the end of our trip she finally divulged what else Kim had shared with her and, as it turned out, it really wasn't much. Lindsay pretty much heard the whole story about the day I dropped by to hand back IDs (what happened with Kim's parents, her stay at my house, the pot… hell, even Irina) and, aside from the accompanied trip to the ER, there was no mention of the second event, the day of the regional finals. That was an immense relief to me.

We roamed the narrow hallway of the aquarium building (the tiled, tunnel shape made for some very interesting pictures) and I finally decided to ask someone if what I was thinking of doing sounded crazy.

"Can you keep a secret, Linds?"

"Yeah," she laughed, "I've already got a few, anyway."

_Oh, really? I wonder from- No, focus!_

"Well, I've been thinking a lot lately, been pressured more like it, about getting back on the football team. I'm not sure I want to do it, but…"

"You're not sure you don't want to, either, huh?"

I nodded, looking through the camera lens at a tank with a group of piranha swooshing back and forth, trying to avoid any hint of what her opinion might be in her face. Was it some sort of sad coincidence that I chose to concentrate on the tank filled with dangerous, semi-carnivorous beings that joyfully tore through the flesh of their prey when talking about going back to a sport I felt created the same mentality and viciousness in its players?

"You gotta go with your gut, Donovan, always. If you feel like playing again, I think we would all be fine with that, so long as you don't start treating us like the dirt your teammates think we are. I mean, I went back to the mathletes and you guys didn't ditch me… you all supported me. Of course, I'm over it again now."

* * *

It was nice hanging out with Lindsay. I rarely spent time with her outside of the group, but we were enjoying being silly, having fun and sharing some deep, if not totally random, conversations about future prospects in college, jobs and relationships.

As I zoomed in on a fallow white deer and snapped a few shots, I asked my friend is she was really done with the mathletes.

"Yeah, I'm done. It's just not me anymore."

"Are you, uh, gonna talk to any of your teammates still?"

"Probably just Millie." She seemed to catch on that I sounded just a little too interested, "Why?"

I rubbed my forehead and turned to face her. "I… was just wondering if I could get a phone number of one of them from you."

Her face almost exploded with surprise as she burst into laughter. "Oh my God! Donovan Matsen interested in a geeky, smart, mathlete girl? Am I dreaming or something?"

I waved her off and began looking for more things to capture on film. "Never mind. It was just- I can figure it out on my own."

She culled her amusement and cleared her throat. "No, really, who do you have your eye on? I can totally help you out."

Again, I rested my camera and readied myself for more ridicule. "I'm not sure what her name is, but she's a long-haired brunette, kinda like you, and she was the girl who went right after you did. The one who sorta bombed her way through her turn, remember?"

Lindsay no longer looked entertained. As a matter of fact, she looked downright disgusted. "Oh yeah, I remember. It is a little hard to forget a bitch like Shelly Weaver."

_Whoa! Did sweet, little Linds just call another girl a bitch? A girl that I… just admitted to being interested in._

"You're right," her voice continued its sardonic pattern, "you're gonna have to figure that one out on your own, because there is no way I want anything to do with her."

"Jesus!" I finally huffed, having just about as much as I could stand with how my potential date choices were going over. "What is with you women? First Kim tramples my chances, twice, and now you act like I'm attracted to the anti-Christ!"

"Trust me, Shelly is not worth your time and twice? There was only one girl there last night, Romeo."

"She pulled the same stunt on a girl I was talking to on Wednesday as well. I was, like, this close to getting her phone number."

A small smile began to grow in Lindsay's face and she laughed out, "Oh, wow, she was serious."

Now I was just confused. "Who was serious? And about what?"

"No, nothing, no one," she shook her head.

I tried a few more times to get the info out of her before giving up altogether. A patch of clouds, that had ominously been rolling in before we even made it to Belle Isle, began to rain down with fury upon us and we dashed for the car, cutting our outing short. On the way back into town, she suddenly became very interested in the details of my first disaster.

* * *

"You know," my friend said, opening the passenger side door as I dropped her off at home, "you can always just go back to Stackey's and see if you can get that girl's number without any of us around to ruin it."

It was such an obvious and easy answer… why couldn't I have thought of that?

"And, hey, I want some copies of those pictures, Mr. Ansel Adams."

We waved goodbye to each other and I watched her quickly make her way inside, out of the rain. I started heading home, but decided to put her idea to use as quickly as possible. The weekend still had a day left in it, after all.

I managed to catch Christina just as she was coming off of her shift and, although she was uneasy about even communicating with me, she did eventually hear me out. Kim had intimidated her with the stare, which I would applaud for being impressive all on its own if it didn't affect me as a result, but she wrongfully assumed that we were an item and I was being two-faced. It took a little convincing, but I wooed her into giving me a shot at proving that I was not as bad as the first impression represented me as and we had a 'date', of sorts, all set for the following night.

Success at last!

* * *

At first, Christina was only truly interested in a casual relationship over anything else, which worked well for me considering I really had no idea what I wanted out of this. Part of me craved an actual relationship, but the other part was quite content with the 'no strings attached' approach we went with. A week into it, though, something shifted. In-between our stints of making-out, we got to know each other more and more and became attracted in a way that quickly outgrew our 'casual' beginning and we transitioned to an item without even discussing it.

After that, it began to feel like everything was moving fast… maybe even more like warp speed (or whatever the hell those geeks call it), but it was also really nice. When our lips weren't locked and our tongues not dancing around each other we had long conversations… long conversations that sometimes turned into debates where we bumped heads, but I would rather have a pairing where we keep things interesting by having varied opinions instead of a duo that mirror each other and are boring as hell. Oddly enough, with all that was going right between us, something still felt off and I couldn't figure out what.

It was strange how relationships could change things. Suddenly you found yourself shaving a little time off of everything in order to have more time for one person. The time I would spend with my friends, just hanging out at school or wherever, would get shorter and shorter the longer I was involved with someone who didn't go to the same school or was a part of our core group. As a result, I kinda, sorta missed a lot of stuff…

Ken was apparently lusting after some band girl while Nick continued to pine for Lindsay. I just so happened to walk into a conversation that seemingly divided the sexes.

The only thing I heard was Ken remarking, "Is it just me or did it get a little chilly in here?" before Lindsay somewhat awkwardly spouted, "I'm gonna go get something to eat," and I couldn't help but notice Kim's ice-cold stare towards Daniel.

Nick suggested we go to Stackey's and suddenly the girls disappeared into the cafeteria.

"Watch her run, just like the little rabbit. I am the tortoise," Daniel gleamed, watching Kim leave.

"What?" I was not met with a response. I hated walking into these conversations midway through.

Nick turned to face me, looking as if a bright idea just popped into his head. "Hey, man, do you think you could talk Christina into giving us some free food when we get there?"

"Uh, no," I looked at him oddly, "Notice how we're in school, on a school day, during school hours? That's where she is right now, at Mt. Clemens."

"Oh… oh yeah," he smacked his forehead and briefly wore a riled look on his face. "Lindsay kinda got my head all twisted around."

I nodded, "Uh huh," and patted him on the shoulder, following after Daniel. Poor lovelorn Nick.

I was truly thankful I had a high metabolism and a great workout ethic, because I had been eating worse than at any point in my life since hanging out with the freaks. I could buy stock in the company and make money with the amount of times we frequented Stackey's. I would have preferred Salvatore's, but it was too far away when we had a limited amount of time to eat and get back to school.

Kim and Daniel ran into each other in the hall just when we came back from lunch and they got into a yelling match with each other - or rather, Kim got in a yelling match while Daniel attempted to ignore her. I tried to calm her down, not knowing who Wendy Franklin was or why she was so mad about her, but that just redirected her anger on me. Mr. Kendrick stopped all three of us and said he was looking forward to seeing how this played out in detention… where we would all be after school.

I don't even know how we got in trouble for that.

Overall, it was just another course of what happened in the hallway earlier, but I did get some insight into what the whole thing was about, albeit by eavesdropping. Wendy Franklin was, apparently, some 'slut' who Daniel had groped and made out with at the laser dome some time ago when he and Kim were broken-up. No big deal until you take into consideration the fact that the whole gang was supposed to go to the dome tonight to see _Laser Floyd_ and I could begin to understand her aggression. I was just glad I wasn't the fat kid stuck in-between the odd couple. They used him as a surrogate to fling insults and reasoning at one another and the kid looked like a lamb being led to slaughter before he desperately asked to be excused to use the bathroom.

* * *

Kim called my house only about an hour after I got home.

"So, you're going to laser dome with all of us tonight, right?" she asked, skipping a return 'hello' altogether.

"Um…" I had plans set with Christina already and there was no way I was backing out to go to a damn laser show. Why was she even going anyway? "No, I got a date."

"With Christina?" She said her name with disgust. "God! You've been ignoring us ever since you hooked up with her. I didn't even think you guys were all that serious and then BAM!"

"Well, she _is_ my girlfriend."

"Yeah, and Daniel is my boyfriend, but I still call my best friend and try to hang out with him!"

_Wait, what was that? A 'him' best friend? As in me?_

"Best friend? What about Linds?"

She sighed loudly in my ear, signaling this was something I should have been able to work out all on my own. "She's my best _girl_ friend, you're my best _guy_ friend. Duh! Wait, are you trying to tell me I'm not your best friend, Matsen?"

"What? No, of course you are. I just didn't know there were subsections for best friends now." I lingered on my next question for a moment and decided to swallow it. I was going to ask why Daniel wasn't her best guy friend, but their current circumstance answered that for me. She could probably throw him further than she could trust him by this point. That did lead me to an earlier query, though. "Why are you going to the show if you're so pissed at Daniel? You've been at his neck ever since you found out about _Laser Floyd_ tonight."

"Are you kidding? What else am I going to do? Besides, I have to keep hounding him about how what he did was wrong or he'll assume I am now okay with it. You know him, Donovan… if I don't go, there is a good chance he'll do it again with some other Wendy Franklin slut. This is all pretty obvious. How the hell do you keep good grades when you can't even read women?"

I began to laugh. "If men could read women as easily as you think they should be able to, the world would be in a better place by now."

Best _guy _friend or not, I still had to decline her request to attend the laser dome show. Christina's parents were out of town for the weekend and she wanted me to come over to her house. Tonight, I was sure we were going the next step. Like I said: warp speed.


	13. Chapter 13 - When it rains… (Part 1)

_Author's Note: For whatever reason, I had an extremely hard time writing this chapter. The flow just kept falling off and I had to backtrack to where I started to lose it. There were about ten or more revisions to it throughout. I had to break it into another two-parter as I kept going on with it._

**Chapter 13 – When it rains… (Part 1)**

* * *

_Okay. Alright. This is perfectly normal, right?_

I was lying next to my girlfriend in bed, she was asleep and I… was just resting there as endless thoughts ran through my head. We had had sex and, while she seemed to thoroughly enjoy it, I was left feeling fairly unsatisfied and I couldn't figure out why. Christina was a great girl; she was smart, funny and just as crazy about me as I was about her.

_Wait… am I crazy about her? I like her, but aside from our first meeting, has she ever set my heart racing? Do I really like her as a romantic partner or just as a friend?_

I sighed heavily and must have disturbed her slightly, as she turned onto her side and shifted her body back into mine. I slid my arm around her midsection and lightly kissed her shoulder, trying to force myself to go to sleep. Once again, my mind began to wander into the questioning territory.

_Am I disgusted or regretful for having sex with her? … No. I still like being with her, I still want to touch her and kiss her … or… do I? Is this why some guys find it so hard to maintain devotion to a single partner? Was my urge to be in a relationship simply a byproduct of a need to repress feelings for someone else and now I am going to hurt a person who actually cares about me as a result? I was rather arbitrary with whoever I chose to chase after. I think… I might be a horrible human being. Goddamnit!_

The more I questioned it, the more wound and uncertain I became of everything. The only thing I was really sure of was that there was no way I was going to fall asleep there, in her bed, next to her. As delicately as I could, I moved myself out of the bed and gathered up my clothes, roaming into the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed again, dropping my head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I said aloud and almost laughed at the fact that it probably looked like I was scolding my crotch. After a speedy dress session (where I almost fell into the bathtub while trying to put my pants on), I once again ventured into the bedroom. I couldn't very well pull a 'dine and dash' type situation on her, it's not like she had no idea who I was or how to contact me, so I woke her up and told her the truth: I was heading home because I was having a hard time sleeping at her house (okay, half of the truth). She nodded and mumbled 'okay' sleepily before kissing me and asking that I come back tomorrow. I nervously agreed, but I hoped she was too tired to notice the hesitation in my voice.

* * *

I'll be the first to admit that one of my less-than-stellar personality quirks was my incessant need not only for acceptance but also to not disappoint people. I can affix both needs to my dad, who seemed to be detached from every emotion known to man except discontent when I was growing up. No matter what I did, he either did not care or he simply was not impressed and then, when I gave up on it due to my want of approval from him, he would become 'disappointed' in me and the cycle would just start over. After a few years, I gave up trying to appease him, but the traits had carried over into every other relationship in my life and I didn't know how to not seek those things. My current predicament was one where the 'don't disappoint' aspect was flying into high gear.

While I drove home, a back and forth argument about what I was supposed to do began in my head. Much like people sometimes have imaginary battles with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, I conceived a similar situation where my confidence and my paranoia would deliberate over a particularly conflicting issue in my head.

_Okay, kid, just think about this rationally. You're kind of caught between a rock and a hard place, but there is a clear answer here. You like Christina but not your romantic relationship with her, it is just that simple. You also like Kim… but in all kinds of ways, amicably and beyond. Don't try to deny it; you'd only be lying to yourself here. You gave chivalry a chance and it ain't workin'._

Confidence has put together a rather straightforward and blunt opening statement, but Paranoia seemed to have a meatier counter.

_Donovan, think about what you're doing here. Christina is really into you, you guys get along and you're not chasing someone unobtainable… you've got her! Tonight? Well tonight was just… nerves. Yeah, nerves. Everything will be fine the next time. Besides, it's not like you couldn't perform or something. Well, you know… you were there. You were right to forget about Kim. She's got a boyfriend who she is deeply attached to, she's wildly unpredictable, just remember who almost ruined your chances with Christina the first time around, and she's your best friend. You don't want to risk losing that, do you?_

I was starting to side with Paranoia. Some valid points were made.

_Are you listening to that crap, kid? 'Cause if you are, you're only hearing half the story, the scared half. Sure, Blondie has a boyfriend, but how steady is it? They break up all the time and you've seen first-hand that Daniel has a problem stickin' to one girl. Let's see, there was Karen, Angela, Wendy… oh, and let's not forget the way he looks at Ms. Yeats. Who knows how many others there are!_

_Now, why do you think Kim was trying to keep you single? So she could claim you for her own if such an opportunity ever arose, dummy! Make that opportunity happen! And, hey, if the person you're with doesn't turn out to be your best friend down the road, why are you with them?_

Okay… now Confidence was making… some sense? There was a lot of wild speculation in there. We were kind of straying from the path here and it was beginning to give me a headache.

_Oh, we're going to play that way? Fine. Let's see: Karen? Sure. Angela and Wendy, though? One is a rumor that we have no way to validate and the other occurred when the two were broken-up, which makes it not off-limits and definitely not cheating! In regards to our teacher, well, everyone has a wandering eye now and then._

That was, uh… this is just turning into a-

_There's a big difference between a wandering eye and undressing someone with your eyes. Daniel's gaze falls into the latter category._

"Stop!" I yelled out, not even caring how crazy I might have looked to anyone watching. Enough was enough with that silliness. My thought process went from helpful to focusing on trivial matters in no time flat.

I realized I was sitting in my driveway with the car in park, just idling. It was always a little unsettling when I was driving and went into autopilot without even recognizing it. I was always worried I was going to run a red light or something, but I guess if my mind knew what turns to make and when to make them without much concentration, it would also know that red means stop.

As I walked in the door, all of my relationship concerns took a backseat. My mother was lying on the couch, in front of the TV, completely zonked out. Something didn't look right though and it put a knot in my stomach.

I made my way towards her and laid my hand on her shoulder, giving her a light shake. She grimaced in pain as she woke up and looked at me with almost empty eyes.

It was a quarter to one in the morning and the TV screen was displaying the random dot pattern of static it always did when it failed to obtain a transmission signal.

"Mom, are you okay? You're out here pretty late and watching a channel that has gone off the air for the night."

"I'm fine, Donovan," she replied in a slow, monotone voice, "I'm just tired and stressed and I can't sleep too well. I might- I might be running a fever."

This was usually how is started. She would become utterly fatigued, but have difficulty sleeping and, when she did sleep, she would be in immense pain when she woke up. Most of the time she avoided sleeping altogether, which only seemed to amplify her behavior changes. It was the worst when she was fully into a flair and did manage to fall asleep… because you never knew how she would react when she woke up. She might be my mom or she might try to rip my head off with a slew of verbal insults and taunts.

I sat down on the couch and waited for her to fall back to sleep. I went to bed soon after she did, but it couldn't have been more than a few hours later that I heard her roaming around the house. There was an inclination to wake my dad up, but I knew neither of us could do anything and taking her to the hospital would be next to useless. We would just have to wait until Monday to see if we could get an appointment with her doctor ASAP.

* * *

Christina was not pleased at all with my abrupt cancellation of our second 'special night', but when I explained to her that my mom was sick and I needed to look after her, she seemed to understand. I briefly thought of telling the complete situation to my girlfriend, but the sad truth is that I didn't even understand what was going on well enough to educate anyone else on the matter. Lupus was a big, complicated disease that was still widely unknown and every time I opened a book about it I just got sick with thoughts of how much it was going to affect my mother and how it would eventually be the death of her. I felt utterly hopeless when thinking about it, because no matter how much I learned, there was no cure and, since it affected everyone differently, there wasn't even a solid plan to keep it in remission (if you can even say it had such a state).

Dr. Hudson confirmed my mother was going through a 'lupus flare', but had no estimation as to how long it may last. I had been fearful of this coming for months now and thought we were extremely lucky it didn't arrive sooner. Her hands and legs were starting to swell and her personality was shifting. That last part is what really worried her doctor, because he was not too familiar with a person's demeanor changing as entirely as my mother's had and thought it was a separate, albeit connected, problem. He didn't feel comfortable making a diagnosis without first seeing this change for himself.

Going home after school was a chore and a half during these times, because I never knew how different my mom was going to be, how loving or awful she may act, but I knew she needed me to be around in case she required help or needed to be watched. It was a role reversal that I was never prepared for. There were only so many times in a day I could stomach being told she would have been better off aborting me or that she never loved me. I knew that wasn't really her and it was whatever was going on in her head… but it still delivered a world of hurt to my soul each time. There were times when I wanted to yell at her for it when she was better and there were times when I was just relieved that she never remembered her transformations or the awful things she put out there when she was altered.

She would get ideas in her head and begin to believe them as fact, most of the time it was an obscene notion that my father and I had turned against her and were trying to kill her somehow. It was draining to deal with, both physically and emotionally, but it was terrifying to me more than anything. Each time this happened, each time she began to change, it would last longer and longer and I was never quite sure if she would return from it completely normal. The person in front of me was both my mother and not my mother at the same time.

* * *

It took over a week for the flare to pass, and in that time I had tried to keep in contact with everyone in my circle, but it certainly wasn't easy and I never had time to actually hang out with them. Sadly, the same went for Christina as well, though I was not nearly as tore about that as I probably should have been. We went from spending tons of time together to having an almost non-existent relationship and it was truly all on me. Dealing with my mother made me distant and quiet. Even when we did talk it was only for short bursts of time and I was very reclusive in our conversations. It was bothering her, I knew it was, and I didn't want to lose what we had, but… what did we have? We got along great and we had built a strong friendship while trying to grow a romantic relationship… but it was obvious that something was just not working between us. She was at least trying; while I... well I wasn't sure what I was doing. The lack of nearly any tender feelings towards her (that was becoming apparent before we had sex, but seemed to just augment speedily after that) was foreboding of any continuation our relationship's future, but even more distressing was my complete inability to understand why the sudden change happened in the first place.

The breaking point, as it were, came quickly and out of nowhere (okay, perhaps there was a bit of insipid boneheadedness on my end). Nick had called and invited me over to his place because Ken and Daniel brought over some of the, as he put it, 'heaviest shit I have ever had' and they thought it would be the perfect reason to hang out since we hadn't been able to in a while. There was just one hitch: I had to pick up Kim and she was bound to be beyond pissed. Daniel was supposed to stop by her house before he went to Nick's, but he "forgot" and was now way too stoned to drive there himself. Something told me I was missing a vital piece of information. She had her own car, after all, so why couldn't she drive herself?

Christina called as I was getting ready to head out and when I told her where I was going, she became very irritated and upset.

"Wait, you can't be serious," she began and I could almost feel her grip on the phone tighten with anger. "I've taken these last, what, _nine days_ in stride. You pretty much ditch me right after we have sex because you have such a hard time sleeping at my house."

As she continued, the pent up frustration that had been welling up in her spilled out and went directly into my ear, her voice growing louder and more criticizing with each word.

"And then your mom _conveniently_ gets sick so you can't come over to my place, but you don't want me to come over to your house either…"

I was feeling very small at the moment. She was pissed about things I didn't even know she was pissed about… and she didn't believe me about my mom after all. "No, hold on," I finally butted in, "my mom really was sick, Christina. She didn't start getting better until just a few days ago."

She huffed out contemptuously in response. "I could have helped then, Donovan. I wanted to help. I wanted to be there with you. You sounded so stressed, so worried every time we talked and there wasn't anything I could do…"

That was something I wasn't about to let anyone experience. It was tough enough for me, but to let others know what happens to my mom when she changes? How she treats me? My dad? Herself? And what would she treat my friends like or my girlfriend? That would have been an immediate nail in the coffin, I was sure.

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on answering her without sounding uncomfortable. "You don't- No, it's me. I can't explain it right, but it's not- it's… oh, fuck, I don't know."

"You can't even tell me if she had the flu or something? Maybe it isn't any of my business, maybe that's what you're trying to tell me without telling me, but I bet your friend Ken knows and Nick… and probably even that Kim chick. They just call you up and you're all set to spend time with them, but what about me? Why couldn't you come see me if you mom was getting better days ago?"

I felt like telling her that no, my friend's didn't know, but ultimately I knew it didn't matter. This was an issue of trust and respect, and I had breached both.

"I can come to your house right after-"

_Oh shit, did I just say 'after'?_

"What, like I'm some kind of afterthought? Second best? Hump me and then dump me? You know what, Donovan, I've been in this kind of relationship before and I'm not wasting time in another one. Go to hell!"

There wasn't even time for me to respond as I heard the phone smack into its plastic cradle several times before the click sound signaled the end of the call.

I cursed under my breath and just stared at the phone in disbelief.

_Did that really just happen?_

* * *

Within twenty minutes I found myself standing at Christina's doorstep, rapidly knocking on the door while trying to think of what to say, how to make this right.

Suddenly Confidence made its voice heard, _What are you doing? This is the out you were looking for, take it!_

Was it? No. Well, maybe. I obviously had no idea what I wanted, but I did know that no matter what, I didn't want it to end like this, where she thought I just used her for sex.

When the door opened, my eyes were met not by Christina's, but her mother's. She was a pretty woman, and I could see that her daughter got many of the beautiful facial features she had from her. Tonight, however, her face was masked by a scowl of disgust and irritation.

"What do you want?" There was an unmistakable coldness to her tone and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I had fallen from good graces with the whole family. This wasn't going to go well.

"I was hoping to talk with Christina, Mrs. Garan."

"I don't think she has anything to say to you. Now, if you'll excuse us, it's getting late."

"But, but…" My words almost poured out of my mouth in a botched haste, "There was a misconum-, a misunderstanding that I really need her to hear the-"

"Listen, Donald," she interrupted my stumbling gush of hectic words.

_It's Donovan._

"You have already made my daughter cry once tonight, I'm not giving you another chance. Please leave before you upset her again… unless you want me to call the cops and have them make you leave."

After the door was shut in my face, I couldn't help but just stand there for a moment, mimicking my baffled feeling from earlier.

_That was a bluff… it had to be, right? _

I really didn't want to stick around to test my theory, even if that meant remaining a douche in my now-probably-almost-definitely ex's mind.


	14. Chapter 14 - … it pours (Part 2)

**Chapter 14 – … it pours (Part 2)**

* * *

After over an hour of aimless driving I arrived at the Kelly's. I wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with Kim, because sometimes it was a task that took a certain amount of patience and a much cooler head than I had at the moment. By the same token, though, I had already fucked up one friendship tonight and going two for two did not seem all that appealing. Besides, if the weed was really that good, maybe I wouldn't feel like such a piece of shit with some of it in my system. Sooner than I could even shift into park, she was walking out of the house, looking pissed.

"What the hell, Matsen? You were supposed to be here forever-ago! They've probably smoked it all by now! Thanks for adding to my already shit day."

I shut the car off, replying through an open window, "Yeah, well, I had to… take care of a… thing."

_Bad excuse. Get ready to have that thrown back in my face in three, two, one…_

She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes as she spoke in a mocking tone, "Oh, did you need to get in a quickie with Christina first or something?"

I had just closed my door but I was more than willing to jump back into the car and drive home, ditching Kim and her attitude.

"I'm really not that eager to put up with your shit tonight, Kim. Remember, I'm not the one who forgot to pick you up in the first place and I easily could have just gone straight to Nick's. I probably just should have at this rate. You have a car, you know how to drive, why the hell do you need a ride?"

_Fuuuuuck... I should've thought that through better..._

She looked both shocked and hurt by my retort at first, but the expression quickly drifted from her face. "She held out on ya, huh?"

I shouldn't have poked the bear. Time to stop jousting before one of us gets hurt.

"No, she dumped me, 'cause I'm a fucking idiot. You're not the only one who is having a shit day, ya know? Now can we please just go get high and talk about stuff that doesn't matter and doesn't depress me?"

"Oh, shit. I'm- I'm sorry." For once she seemed embarrassed by her actions and there was an awkward span of silence that neither one of us knew how to break. "I wanted a ride because... yesterday I… I… I killed Millie's dog. I kind of… ran him over," she suddenly blurted out, as if I had been grilling her on the matter for hours and finally made her break down.

"You… what?!" My mind was blown and 'shocked' couldn't even begin to describe the look my face had contorted into.

I nimbly put the pieces together as Kim's confession repeated in my head. Daniel skipped out on his chauffeur duties because he didn't want to deal with the 'girly' emotions Kim was going to bounce off of him and she probably wasn't too fond of driving because of this whole dog thing.

Completely ashamed, she looked to the ground, her voice tumbling out small and almost inaudible. "I killed Millie's dog. Lindsay and I were going out last night and we… hit him."

She looked so crestfallen, so guilty that I simply walked up to her and embraced her in a hug, a hug that she immediately returned. She didn't cry, but you could tell this had triggered something in her.

"I'm sure you didn't mean to," I whispered, waiting a few more seconds before tossing an alternate idea out, "Hey, do you just wanna chill out here for a while instead of goin' to Nick's? I mean, those guys…"

She nodded her head against me, conveying that she understood what I was leading into. Our friends might be great, but they were not always be the most sensitive (especially with the 'pack mentality' being together generates), and I could tell Kim wasn't interested in being ridiculed when she just wanted an outlet for the unfortunate event.

Her brother was asleep on the couch and her stepfather was passed out drunk in her parent's bedroom, so we spent time in her room. I was fairly surprised when I entered, as it was a stark contrast to the rest of the house and certainly not what I expected of her. For all intents and purposes, it was cleaner and more put together than my room, and I'm fairly OCD when it comes to that. The only theme that bled into her room was the half completed walls that were everywhere in the house.

I sat at the head of her bed as we talked and before long, I moved one of her pillows to the opposite wall and leaned back into it, lying vertically instead of horizontally like one normally would. The night of high emotions had quickly drained me and her bed was actually pretty comfy. I didn't plan on falling asleep or anything, but resting felt nice. I asked her if she told Millie what happened to Goliath, her dog, and she shook her head. She felt like it was too late to admit what actually occurred now because she opened up to Millie about her dog and even went to the funeral. Although I was tempted to poke fun at a dog funeral, I chose to inquire about Kim owning a dog, since this was the first I had ever heard of it. It might not have been the wisest choice though, as it was a rather sad story that made me recall and share my own memory of losing a canine. I had had her for years, but the best name I could think up for her was 'Girl' (pathetic, I know). She was a mutt that I had happened to see day in and day out when she was a puppy, as her owners ran a puppy mill right next to my bus stop when I was just a little Donovan. We had built a small but strong bond during my daily visits where she would happily run up to the fence like clockwork when she heard my voice. It was a heartbreaking day when I got off the bus after school and she was gone. I cried during the entire walk to my Grandmother's house and it was only when I made it inside and watched Girl run towards me that I realized my good ol' Grandma had bought her for me!

Girl was my furry best friend for years and years… until she got sick one day. I knew it was bad, far different from any other time she had been sick, because she crawled under the porch and refused to come out. When she did pass, burying her was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life to this day. So, while part of me did mock the funeral aspect, a bigger part understood it.

* * *

"So, we're going to see The Who this weekend, you should come with us… especially now that you don't have any plans. Tickets are only forty bucks," she said, shifting from her seat in the middle of her bed and lying down as well, resting her head on my chest. It was moments like this where I felt like we were being too handsy for our own good and it only served to reinforce the feelings I had for her that I clearly shouldn't. By the same standards though, I wasn't about to stop her.

She crunched up her face for a second and peered up at me. "That probably came out wrong. Sorry."

It was a slightly insensitive statement, but not one that was necessarily untrue. "Even if I wanted to go, I don't have ten dollars to my name, so tickets are out of the question. My mom is going in for a ton of tests over the next couple of weeks, too, so I doubt I can mooch off my dad for money. I'll probably have to mow some lawns around the neighborhood just for gas."

Kim laughed and covered her mouth, trying to squelch her glee but failing miserably. "For some reason I find it really funny to imagine you running around from yard to yard with a lawnmower just for a little gas money."

"It's a little ironic that I have to use something that requires gas to get money to buy gas. Anyway, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, but…" I shivered a little, thinking about what I was going to share with her. "Sometimes it is really creepy when someone, like let's say Mrs. Saperstein, comments on how hot I look and offers to hose me down to cool me off."

"Oh my God!" Kim roared with laughter, "Mrs. Saperstein? She's like fifty or something, Donovan! That goes way beyond creepy!"

"Like I said: gotta do what ya gotta do. And in case you were wondering, no, I do not shake my moneymaker for her."

She burst into another fit of laughter and I couldn't help but smile.

"So, like, what kind of tests does your mom have to go through? What made her so sick?"

I sighed and briefly considered how to attempt to explain. "It's like, she starts having a lot of aches and pains and trouble sleeping, and then her hands and legs start to swell up and hurt her nonstop… and then…. and then it just seems like she changes into another person entirely. I think that's what the tests are all about, because her doctor says that what she is going though, what makes her sick, shouldn't affect her mentally like it does."

_That was… kind of easy. Not exactly the most sophisticated or technical answer, but still… why couldn't I do that with Christina? _

Kim remained silent after I said my piece, looking as if she was really taking it in and trying to think of an appropriate response. Before she could say anything though, there was a light knock on her door and Cookie peeked her head inside.

"I'm surprised you're home. Anyway, it's late and you have school tomorrow. Say your goodbyes and get to bed."

I cringed slightly, fully expecting an argument to escalate quickly, but Kim simply nodded to her mom as she closed the door.

"What was that? Did you guys just _not_ fight?"

She shrugged, "When things are good between us, I try my best to make them stay that way as long as I can. She may be a psycho, but she can be a mom too when she wants to be. She's been working doubles a lot lately so she and Rob can celebrate their whatever-ith anniversary in Grand Rapids. Annnnnnd, she's my source for the forty bucks so I've gotta try to keep things cool between us for a while at least."

* * *

The week continued on as normal… or as normal as it could for our group. Kim had taken Millie under her wing, so to speak, and was spending more time with her than she had since she was practically forced to during homecoming. I tried to persuade her to just come out with the truth if she really wanted to stay friends with her, because if she ever got wind of it from another source, she could kiss their bond goodbye. Expectedly, my advice was met with disdain and I was told to 'back the hell off'. Sometimes I was left to wonder why I even bothered.

Nick horrified Ken and I with a song he wrote for Lindsay called _Lady L_ and I found myself wishing for Feedback like never before. I wasn't entirely sure, but the crescendo he performed at the end of the song _may_ have caused my ears to bleed a little on the inside. Ken and I shared pained looks throughout the piece and if it went on any longer, we probably would have punctured each other's eardrums in an act of merciful comradery. It was his intention to sing the song to his Lady L later in the day when they all met up to go to The Who concert. Ken gave him a look like he would disown him if he followed through and I was suddenly a little glad I would not be venturing along.

Once I was home again, I made my third and (as far as I told myself) final attempt to contact Christina and just talk to her about what happened, but I was hung up on again after trying to quickly say 'don'thangup'. After seeing how nicely put together Kim's room was, I became fairly uneasy and apprehensive about the now very apparent messiness of my own. Sometimes I would get stuck on the smallest of things and an untidy room just so happened to be my impromptu project for the afternoon. As I cleaned and rearranged, I was left wondering what exactly happened with my friends and how they were enjoying the concert and then, as if I had somehow projected my thoughts out there for someone to grab onto, Lindsay called me up invited me over to play Uno with her and Millie. I was stumped at first because I was under the assumption that both girls were supposed to be at the concert with everyone else. Lindsay must have picked up on my puzzlement, because she started to laugh and promised to explain what was going on when I came over.

I don't know how, but my friends usually had immaculate timing in regards to contacting me at just the right time to hang out… either that or I just had an incredibly boring life. It really could be one or the other.

Mr. Weir looked at me rather oddly as I explained to him that I was dropping by to play Uno with the girls. If it wasn't true, it would be the lamest excuse to be alone with two women ever. As a testament to just how unbelievable it sounded, he made sure we left the door to Lindsay's room open while we were all in there.

I was rather astounded to learn of the fate that fell on Nick's guitar: smashed to pieces at the hands of a knight in shining armor named Ken. He really did do Nick a favor, whether he wanted to accept it or not. But what came as an even bigger shock was that it was Kim who finally came clean about who hit Goliath. Her hand was somewhat forced, though, as she only seemed to own up as a last resort to stop the Millie from truly going to the dark side. It didn't really matter, as far as I was concerned she did the right thing. She could have kept her mouth shut and let the girl down her first beer, but she chose not to. Even if she had been lied to and hurt as a result, Millie was already more than willing to forgive Kim and continue their new-found friendship, but she was on her way to see the band before the message could be delivered. I had to contain a laugh and try to remain straight-faced when I said 'no' in reply to Lindsay wondering if I knew what Nick wanted to sing to her.

I noticed Millie's hair had a styling in it that looked very familiar. "Did you let Kim put that braid in your hair?"

She nodded enthusiastically, a big, happy grin extended across her face.

"I thought it looked a little recognizable. It's nice."

We sat and drank and ate junk food for a few hours while playing the card game (and I lost every single time) and just joking around. I even got to see a picture of the now infamous Goliath. He was a huge Great Dane from the looks of it. I was honestly a little surprised he didn't do some kind of damage to Kim's Gremlin.

I liked Millie, she was a good person, but her tendency to be somewhat religiously hoity-toity when she wasn't being a rebel was slightly off putting for the majority of us. I didn't mind hanging out with her in short durations, but when anything even remotely spiritual came up, I was always quick to make an exit.

When asked if I wanted to come back tomorrow to play some more, I had to decline. I mean, I already had a full day of lawn mowing and inappropriate sexual harassment to look forward to.


	15. Chapter 15 - Jenna Is A Punk Rocker

**Chapter 15 – Jenna Is A Punk Rocker**

* * *

With just over two months left in the school year, there was a certain buzz of excitement in the air that only summer break could bring about. I was only mildly enthused by the idea of the end of school, because I knew that I would have to make a decision one way or the other about football beforehand. The longer we had in school, the less I had to think about it… and that was a luxury I was running out of.

I ran into Daniel on my way to second period. He was rummaging through his locker for something and from the looks of it he had just made it to school. There was an air of stress and irritation about him, something that you would rarely affiliate to such a laid-back cool kid.

I made my way to him, leaning against the adjacent locker without him paying the slightest of attention. "What the hell ya digging for in there? Gold?"

He finally threw me a quick glance, still appearing irritated. "Smokes," he said shortly, almost hissing it out, before looking back into his locker.

Daniel had been going through a lot of home problems over the past few days and it all seemed to really be getting to him. His father's health was not doing too well and his mother was at his beck and call nearly 24/7 as a result. She took a lot of her frustrations out on Daniel and inadvertently made him feel like no matter what he tried to do it would always be wrong. This inevitably spilled over onto us, his friends, as we tried our best to make him feel less stressed and convince him that someday things would get better.

"There…" He reached into the top section of the cubbyhole and grabbed onto something.

Just as he did, we heard Kim yell out to him, "Hey, Desario!"

She sounded irritated, too. This was gonna be a joy.

"What?" Daniel snapped back and I could almost see Kim explode with exasperation.

"I've been waiting for you. Where the hell were you this morning? You have my notes!" she explained as Daniel and I walked to her.

"Um, I was held up," he responded, sounding almost embarrassed as he stuffed the pack of Marlboro lights from his locker into his shirt pocket.

"Well, thanks a lot. I failed a test because of you."

Daniel and I shared a confused look as we both tried to figure out how her failing a test was in any way his fault.

"What are you talking about?"

"It was an open notes test. I left my bag in your car last night."

I began to feel like a third wheel or unwanted spectator in the situation. This had 'dysfunctional fight' written all over it and I was not too fond of being around when those went down. I began to back away from the bickering couple, readying myself to turn around and walk to my next class as the two fought.

"Oh, so it's my fault that you left your bag in my car?" I heard Daniel say, sounding like he was attempting to antagonize her.

"No! It's your fault that you the most unreliable guy on the face of the planet."

"Well you're certainly reliable, you're always a bitch!"

I usually knew better than to try to interfere with their yelling matches, but his comeback struck a nerve. This was not the Daniel I was used to dealing with.

"Hey, man, just be cool, alright?" I called out, retracting my departure.

Daniel whipped around and glared at me with the same disdained look he had just given his girlfriend. "How 'bout you mind your own business, Donovan, 'cause this don't concern you."

"You guys are my friends, right? Then this concerns me."

Kim scoffed at me in reply. "I don't need some retired football knight to come save me from a bad word. I can take care of myself perfectly well, okay? And you know what, Daniel? Why don't you enjoy spending the rest of your life alone."

Daniel raised a hand to say goodbye and show that he didn't care before turning to walk away and Kim simply made a snide grimace before doing the same.

_Well… fuck you both then,_ I thought to myself, turning around and leaving as well. In the span of about forty seconds they had turned my good mood completely upside down.

The two wouldn't even speak to each other the next day and Kim found solace in hanging out with her secondary group, the one that consisted of female bullies. I knew well enough that there was way too much bitchiness generated there for me to even try to hang out with her. Not that it would have made a difference either way, though, because it wasn't just Daniel that was getting the silent treatment from her, Ken, Nick and I were, too. The only one in our group she would talk to was Lindsay. Go figure. According to a short conversation I had with Linds, Kim said she broke up with him, and according to Daniel, he didn't care. Their fights reminded me so much of perpetual child hissy fits and I just couldn't fathom why they chose to keep putting themselves through it again and again.

* * *

I pulled into the empty parking spot next to Daniel's Trans Am at the 7-Eleven. I didn't know why we were stopping here. There was better food at Sal's (where we were going) and he obviously didn't need gas or he would have stopped at the pump.

I followed behind him like a shadow into the store, bringing up a conversation we never really finished during lunch, "So, like I was saying earlier, it's not that I think they are going to be a bad band, it is just that their first album really didn't impress me. I mean, for a heavy metal band they-"

I looked around, suddenly realizing I had been talking to myself while strolling down the junk food isle. Daniel was nowhere in sight. Nowhere, that is, until I glanced up to the front of the store and saw him talking to the cashier. She looked kind of familiar, like she went to our school or something. She was the right age and everything, but I don't recall seeing anyone with a completely punk outfit (hairdo and all) roaming the halls of McKinley. I stayed in my spot and listened to the two talk, contributing to the conversation in my head. It was kind of eerie how sound traveled in a quiet place.

_Okay, so she did go to our school but dropped out. Dropped out to work at a 7-Eleven? Oh the ambition… Wait, did she just refer to Kim as a 'psycho girlfriend'? That's kind of rich coming from someone whose hairstyle matches a porcupine… Is Daniel seriously hitting on this girl? Did he just call himself a 'punker'? This is just embarrassing… Iggy? Daniel doesn't listen to Iggy, I freaking do. If I could carry a tune I could probably sing Lust for Life track by track. What's she doing? You're shitting me… did he just get her number or something? Sly son of a bitch… _

I diverted my attention back down to the snack cakes in front of me as Daniel turned back to my direction. He did listen to a few of the bands he listed, especially the Ramones. One of their songs, _Sheena Is A Punk Rocker_, suddenly started playing in my head. Had Daniel found his own Sheena in the form of Jenna the punk rocker?

"Hey, let's get outta here and go to Sal's," he said as he got closer, a large grin spread across his goofy face.

Nick and Ken and I met at Daniel's house, waiting for him to get back from a grocery store run for his mom. It had been lightly raining when we first arrived, but when Daniel got home, it started pouring a little harder. He popped out of the car with that grin still on his face (I swear it stayed there ever since the gas station stop), telling us all about his potential hook-up tomorrow night at The Armpit and happily displaying the invite written on his forearm. Like a goofball, I looked… even though I was present for the whole thing.

775 Elm. He peeked down to it and back to us several times with a seemingly expectant look, like he was waiting for us to bow down and praise him for his exceptional prowess in wowing females.

"Man… it's a good thing it's not on East Renaissance Boulevard. You'd need stitches!" Ken pointed out, taking note of just how hard Jenna had pressed into Daniel's skin with the pen as she wrote on him. "And the Armpit?" he continued with a laugh, "Makes me think everyone there is going to smell of heavy BO! Why would anyone want to go to a place with that name?"

Nick joined Ken in his amusement, "Why are you even interested in Jenna Zank anyway? She's way out there in her punk lifestyle and I don't even think you own any hardcore punk albums. What would you two even talk about? Would you, like, make a game out of how many balloons you could pop on her head or something?"

Now all three of us were laughing while Daniel looked like he was getting pissed. "You guys think you're so funny. Just wait and see." He looked down to his feet and kicked a rock into his next door neighbor's yard. "Kim thinks she's the only on who'll go out with me? She thinks I'll be alone for the rest of my life? We'll see what she has to say after this weekend."

"Seriously? That's what this is all about?" Ken questioned. "Proving Kim wrong when you know you two will be back together by Monday anyway?"

Daniel looked at us and tried to unlock his trunk, missing the keyhole time and time again. "Not this time, man. This time I'm moving on."

"Right, right," I grinned, knowing my friend's prediction was likely the end scenario. "You know, if you're really gonna move on from Kim, you should probably get with a girl who she _can't _kick the living snot out of."

"No shit," Ken laughed in agreement.

"You guys wanna come with me or not?" Daniel shot a questioning look to all of us before once again attempting to open his car trunk in the rain.

Ken simply nodded, "I'll go. I like a good freak show."

Nick, on the other hand, began to decline, stating that he didn't like Punk at all, bashing them as a whole for being bad musicians who played loud to cover for their lack of ability. Daniel countered as we grabbed bags of groceries from the open trunk to carry into the trailer he and his parents called home, stating that it was what the punk singers were saying that was important, like 'screw the system' and 'make up your own rules'.

"Get a stupid haircut!" Ken added and I burst into laughter.

"Alright, fine, I'll go," Nick finally sighed.

I never committed one way or the other but I think it was just naturally assumed that I had nothing better to do and would tag along.

"If you guys are serious about goin', you gotta dress for the part, alright? We'll meet at Ken's."

Ken, Nick and I shared a look of ridicule behind Daniel's back. Even if we went, we were not going to Punk ourselves out.

* * *

Ken's parents actually had a really nice house, like probably the nicest out of all of ours. Lindsay's came in a distant second by comparison. This would be the kind of house (it was huge), the kind of yard (it was huge, too), I would like to have whenever I finally grow up and start being responsible.

I was sitting on the edge of the curb, Ken and Nick behind me on a tree stump, just waiting for Daniel to arrive. Ken and I had been busy giving Nick shit ever since he got there and Ken had just whipped out a gem revolving around how the girls at the punk club might be into Andopolis because they all hate themselves and that would improve his chances. I looked back at them just in time to see Nick punch him in the chest and we all cracked up simultaneously, even if Ken was cringing in pain.

The sound of Daniel's roaring engine drew our attention back to the road and we were all struck by a moment of silence when we witnessed what he had done to himself. His hair was twisted into pointy spikes, he had eyeliner on under one eye and he donned an older leather jacket with about a hundred safety pins adorned all over it. A chorus of laughter broke out between us, with Nick trying to be nice and stifle his own while telling Daniel that he looked good.

After a little more ribbing, a familiar scent entered my nose and I took a step back from the Trans Am. "What? Oh, man, did you cook eggs in your car or something? What is with that smell?"

A slightly embarrassed look crossed his face for a moment. "It's eggs and mayo. Made my hair all pretty. Now shuddap and get in the car."

"I… no, I can't, Daniel, I just can't. I will do many things for and with you guys, but a punk club is, well… we all have our limits, right?"

In fairness, I never had any intentions of going with them, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see if Daniel would actually dress for the occasion and how he would look. It was worth every second of wasted time.

"Suit yourself," Daniel said and began to drive away, Ken and Nick waving to me from the car.

I scratched my head and moseyed to my car. I kinda thought he would try to persuade me or something, but I guess he was done playing around.


	16. Chapter 16 - Something different

_Author's Note: Seriously - what house did Daniel drive to at the end of episode 15? It looked completely different from the Kelly household we were introduced to in episode 4 but Kim answered the door to this new place and was seemingly in her jammies. Just one of those things that makes you go, "Wait, what?"_

_Also, I am starting to think that FFN does not have accurate word counts. I mean, I added one word here, just one, and my 'word count' jumped by 56!_

**Chapter 16 – Something different**

* * *

I had been lounging around at home for the past half-hour, restlessly switching from room to room, trying to figure out how to not be bored. Sometimes I was just inexplicably jittery, and tonight was one of those times. Everyone was out doing something… well, almost everyone. Maybe Kim had settled down enough for us to hang out… then again maybe she wasn't even home.

_Only one way to find out._

I somewhat hated calling her house because it was either Rob or her mother who answered the phone, but rarely Kim. The 'Oh, it's you again,' line had gotten pretty old by the second time they used it, and yet it was a regular part of our short-lived conversations where they stalled to decide if they were going to let their daughter talk to her friends or not.

"Hello?" Kim's slightly irritated voice answered after the third ring.

I breathed out in relief, "Oh good, it's you. I hate talking to your folks."

"Pfft! You and me both. Luckily, I don't have to deal with them this weekend. They are gone on their little anniversary trip. I kind of hope it goes well just so they don't come back early like they did a few years ago."

"So what are you up to tonight?"

There was a long pause before I got any kind of response.

"Look, I'm still pissed at Daniel and not in a really good mood, so I think you should probably just hang out with the guys tonight or something. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow."

"Nah, they're with Daniel at-"

_Shut up! What am I doing?_

"They're with Daniel where?" Her voice suddenly gained a hint of curiosity.

"Uh, I'm not sure exactly. I didn't go with them. It's called the elbow or the armpit or something. Some body part."

_Oh, nice save. Way to not sell anyone out, idiot. I can't even play the 'obtuse' card right! Did I take my dumbass pill with a nice glass of truth serum or something? She'd better not ask if I like her or anything or I'm totally screwed._

Another long pause before Kim yelled, "He's going with some slut, isn't he? Don't even lie to me, Donovan!"

"He's not, I swear!" Technically, I wasn't lying. He wasn't going with any 'slut', though he might be meeting up with one there.

"Whatever. You guys will always cover for each other," she spat out and hung up on me.

What had she said all those months ago? 'No one said being my friend would be easy'? Well this was a shining endorsement of that statement.

I was tempted to call again, but I knew her better than that. She would just refuse to pick up or simply take the phone off the hook. Now I needed to decide if I was going to head over there. The last time I made a blunder on the phone with a woman, going to her house did not smooth things over at all.

"Well, shit…" I sighed aloud and grabbed my jacket, yelling out that I was going over to Kim's for a while.

* * *

Something was going on on Alumni Avenue. Cars were parked on both sides of the street for as far down as I could see, and some jackass even blocked off the driveway to Kim's with their shitty park job. I had to stall my beauty six houses away.

As I made my way to the Kelly house, I heard someone yell out, 'Hey, buddy, over here!' but it was one of those things where you heard people yelling all over the place so I paid it no mind and kept moving. Not more than a few seconds later though, I heard it again, "Big guy, I'm talking to you. Help me out here, bro.'

I looked around and noticed a guy with his arms full just staring at me.

"Yeah, over here."

I made my way towards him and realized he was holding a stack of about four six-packs between his arms, steadying them with his chin.

"You're here for Jeff's party, right?"

"Uh…"

"Alright, cool, man," the guy smiled at me, somewhat creepily, "Could you do me a favor and grab those bottles from the back and close 'er up? I'll meet you inside."

I looked into the open backdoor of the car he was standing next to and spotted two cases of Labatt Blue sitting there. Before I could say anything else, the man was trotting his way to the house directly across the street from Kim's. I grabbed the two cases, shut the car door with my knee and smiled to myself, thinking this would make a nice peace offering as I made my way to my friend's house. It appeared as if Rob or someone had taken care of some of the clutter around the front of the house. The rugs and oven were gone from the porch area and the screen door had been removed and replaced with a somewhat elegant looking wood door that had an impressive glass frame in the middle of it.

I knocked on the door and waited for Kim to answer. When she did, she looked displeased to see me, at least until I held up the six-pack of bottles in either hand.

"Still not in a hanging out mood?" I asked with a smile.

It calmed my heart a bit to see a grin spread across her face as she reached for one of the cases and took it inside… or at least it did until she closed the door in my face.

I stood there stunned for a moment before I blared out, "Oh my God, you can't be serious right now!"

"I didn't lock the door, dork!" she yelled back.

I made my way inside and set the other case down on the coffee table in front of the couch.

I heard her close the fridge door and pull out a chair, its wooden legs thumping and bumping against the linoleum floor. She was kind enough to have kept a bottle out for me and herself as well. I picked up the bottle and opener from the table and snapped the top off as I sat down in the chair opposite of her, offering it out in trade for the capped one still in her hand.

She smirked slightly, handing over the bottle, "Thanks."

"Warm beer kinda sucks," I mentioned, popping the top off the second container and taking a large sip.

She shrugged, taking a drink of her beverage as well, "I really don't give a shit… I just want a buzz."

A voice from behind caused me to jump in my seat slightly.

"Oh, hey, beer," someone said flatly, as if it was interesting and boring at the same time. It was her brother, Chip, in one of the rare moments where he wasn't asleep on the couch or in a bed. He picked up one of the bottles from the case in the living room and snatched up the opener.

_Oh, okay… guess we're all sharing. Still, that's four beers apiece. That should be fine._

"Where did you get these anyway?" Kim asked, taking another swig.

I laughed a little, thinking of how much of an asshole I was. "There is a party going on across the street. Some guy asked me to carry those in for him. Guess I went to the wrong house."

"No way," Chip mused, "Jeff is throwing another party? I better head over there." He grabbed the case and started walking towards the door.

"Chip!" Kim called, "You're not supposed to go to parties. What if you hit your head or something? Nobody there knows what happened to you or what to do."

He waved her off, almost dropping the beer bottle in his hand, "Jeff knows. He'll look out for me, he's my friend."

Kim sighed and I turned in my chair. "Since you're going and all, mind leaving the rest of the beer here?"

He looked at the case in his hand and then back to me like I had said something preposterous. "It's rude to show up to a party empty-handed." And with that he disappeared out the door.

_That settles that. Three beers apiece._

"If he gets hurt," she began, breaking to take a drink, "I am so kicking your ass."

I knew she worried about her brother. Hell, he was probably the only family member in that house she cared for on a regular basis. Years ago he sustained some kind of head injury when a police officer struck him on the head with a baton and he was never the same after. Ever since the incident he had to move back in with Kim and the family because he just couldn't take care of himself adequately anymore. He suffered from fatigue most of the time and sometimes acted in the oddest ways. The condition also affected his coordination and he would often stumble around when trying to move. This caused concern that he would someday fall, hit his head and create further damage to his brain. Regardless of his family's worries though, Chip still enjoyed his independence and still liked to party when he had a chance to.

I looked at her. She still seemed down and irritable, and she was desperately avoiding eye contact. Jenna's words, calling Kim a 'psycho' repeated in my head randomly and I realized how much it really bothered me. Not just because some judgmental dropout chick said it, but because _a lot_ of kids said the same thing around school all the time. The called her psycho, a bitch, a slut, a loser, a burnout. All these hateful, degrading terms from people who didn't even know her. They didn't know the Kim that Daniel, Lindsay, Nick, Ken and I knew… and they didn't care. Most were wise enough to whisper these things behind her back, but she still heard them here and there and I knew for a fact that these taunts only increased tenfold whenever Kim and Daniel broke up… like they had two days ago. It bothered her deeply, underneath all of her outer armor she still wanted to be accepted just like anyone else and I could see just how much those hollow words hurt her, even though she would never admit it to anyone.

I felt bad for her, I really did, and it wasn't just because I had strong feelings for her, either. No one should have to go through the ups and downs she did with her family and friends, even if a good portion of it was self-imposed. "Come on, Kim, cheer up. You're killin' me here. Do ya- do ya know what I think?" I inquired, finally breaking the silence and tipping back my bottle to take another large drink.

"…That I need to cheer up? That my attitude is killing you? You kinda already gave it away." She was staring at the half-empty beer sitting in front of her, using her hands to prop up her head as her elbows rested on the table.

"No," I laughed, "Word is that you're a crazy, tough girl with a short fuse and a bad rep around school. People assume that you spend all your time doing drugs, having sex and have no plans for a worthwhile future."

Her eyes grew wide and she looked at me like I had just slapped a baby in front of her. "Jesus, Matsen! You're doing a piss-poor job of making me feel better!"

"Hold on, Blondie, hold on," I laughed again, "You gotta let me finish here."

"Well hurry up with the nice stuff before I punch you in the face," she said sternly, but her mouth held a hint of a smile.

I found it highly amusing that she had actually just demonstrated the 'short fuse' label.

"That's the thing. People don't take the time to get to know the nice stuff about you. How you can be enjoyable and funny and considerate… and caring. You do have a soft side to you, even if you don't like to let anyone see it. Sometimes you just simply won't let them, like how you were at first with Linds and me, but most of the time it is because they have these preconceived notions about you based solely on gossip. Gossip that you usually reinforce to keep people away… to stop others from having the chance to hurt you. It's the defensive wall you've built to keep people out… but once they are in… once they're in, Kim, they'll find that you're one of the best friends a person could hope for."

Now it was I who was looking at the bottle of beer in front of me. After my little spiel there I wasn't exactly prepared to accept any look she may be giving me, mainly because I was somewhat worried it would be disapproving. Her simple scoff of a reply confirmed my suspicions.

"And you know what else?" I continued, unabated by her lack of acknowledgement that she was indeed a friend worth having, "You need a change."

"A change?" She sounded uninterested, maybe even… angry? I couldn't really tell.

"Yeah, a change. You can't keep yourself locked in this same cycle because each time it eats away at your self-esteem a little bit more and…"

She knew what I was talking about, what I was referring to. At times like these, her 'relationship' with Daniel was fairly self-destructive and it was only a matter of time before the damage done by it would start to leave permanent scars. Scars that would not show on her beautiful skin, but leave deep wounds on her personality that would never go away. Her parents had already done a good job of getting that process started and it was heartbreaking to think it may only get worse.

"And what, Donovan? What makes you think you know me so well, huh? If you're such the expert then what the hell do you think I should do?"

"I don't know!" I snapped at her, reaching my breaking point for her unwarranted hostility. I knew she was angry, I knew she was sad but I wasn't a punching bag. I was trying to help. "Just not this again and again… just… something different."

**_Someone _**_different. Someone who'll treat you better than this. Someone who won't break up with you and try to test the water with someone else within a scant few days… just…_

I tried to convince myself to put those thoughts out there, to say what I wanted to say out loud instead of in my head, but I couldn't.

I glanced at her and caught a look on her face that said she still understood what I was getting at, a look that said maybe, just maybe, I even had a point. She quickly stood and looked around the kitchen, speaking hastily as she did, "I haven't eaten yet. Are you hungry? I'm hungry, but there's like nothing here for dinner…"

"Well…" I shifted in my seat before standing as well; dropping our former subject completely as I could tell how uncomfortable it was making her, "let's see what we can come up with."

Kim wasn't lying. Her parents did a horrible job of making sure there was adequate food left for those who would still be at home while they were away. There was a pack of ham rounds in the fridge and we happened upon a half-empty box of potato flakes in one of the cabinets. It wasn't a very tasty dinner (the potato flakes had next to no taste actually, but maybe we made them wrong), but it did at least get the job done. Her mood calmed significantly as we made dinner and it was nice to see her smiling and hear her laughing for more than a few seconds. That might have been because we both made it through our second beer in that time, but I was hopeful it was just because she was feeling better overall. I had planned to leave after we ate, as I didn't want to overstay my welcome and felt I had opened my big, dumb mouth more than enough, but I couldn't refuse when she asked me to stay for a little longer to watch some TV and finish our last beers. I was such a pushover when it came to her… but tonight was a little different because I knew she was here alone while her probably-soon-to-be-not-ex was out doing who knows what with Jenna Zank (Jenna freakin' Zank of all people).

* * *

I moved around uncomfortably on the couch while trying to enjoy the ABC Friday Night Movie, _The Pink Panther Strikes Again_ (which was actually really funny. I wouldn't have picked comedies as a movie genre Kim was a fan of, but she was enjoying it as much as I was). I had never noticed before, but the whole damn sofa was wrapped in those tacky protective plastic slipcovers. God they were irritating… and noisy! I could hear practically every little movement.

She pulled her feet up and tucked them under her, skewing her body somewhat sideways. I felt her rest her head on my arm and I glanced over to her. There was a funny little smile lining her lips and she seemed… peaceful. "I'm really glad you stopped by tonight, Donovan. I feel a little better now than I have for most of the week."

I began to wonder if I should do something.

_Knock it off, Donovan._

I half-turned, half-slid on the plastic covering and faced her. She seemed almost disappointed that I had pulled away, a confused look spreading across her lovely features.

"What's wrong?"

_Stop, fool!_

"Nothing," I said, paying no heed to the warnings my brain shouted as I moved in to kiss her.

Our lips met and, in my slightly-drunken stupor, I expected there to be some sort of fireworks, some instant spark that would light both of us up. I mean, I thought for sure we had _something_. Unfortunately, there was absolutely no reaction from her as my mouth pressed against hers. She didn't recoil her head or push back with her lips, nor did she shove me away or bring me further in. There was just nothing, and the lack of a response caused an aura of instant discomfort around my entire body as I felt like I had made a terrible mistake.

_Oh shit! You IDIOT! You practically face-planted into her!, _the very essence of Paranoia screamed at me as I quickly retreated from her and stood up, stumbling over my own feet. If I wasn't so flustered, I would have found a bizarre comfort in my impromptu mimicry of Inspector Clouseau. _There was NO signal there! None whatsoever! Why the hell did you do that?!_

Kim looked a little awestruck, but I didn't have time to figure out if that was good or bad. I just needed to move my ass and get out of here.

"I-I-I think I better go," I stuttered out, awkwardly attempting to look like I was scratching the back of my head while grabbing a clump of my hair and pulling on it fiercely in embarrassment and frustration at my own inexplicable stupidity. This was bad. This was beyond bad. Both of us were a little drunk, but not nearly enough to simply forget about this the next day. I couldn't just leave well enough alone. I couldn't just enjoy the fact that I had cracked the exterior of Kim's tough girl persona and found a funny, quirky, beautiful girl underneath who would undoubtedly be my friend for life.

I turned around, checking the room for my jacket, when I felt Kim grab onto my wrist. She pulled herself up, somewhat using my arm for leverage, and she was staring at me with a look of anger. Or… wait, was that anger? I'll be damned if I wasn't having the hardest time reading her facial expressions and vocal tones tonight.

_Save face, jackass! Apologize!_

"Kim, look- What just- I mean-"

I was usually as smooth as silk around women, but she was a completely different story and I was continually discombobulated around her, especially at times when I felt incredibly attracted to her (an emotion that was becoming more relevant the longer we were together). The really odd thing was that it actually felt good.

Before I could even begin to put something together, she shoved me, right in the middle of my chest. The couch was directly behind me and I simply fell back into a sitting position. Before I knew it, she damn near pounced me, straddling herself across my lap.

"Wha-what are you doing?" I asked, feeling completely perplexed. I had just messed up big time, so what the hell was going on?

She quickly brushed her hair behind her ears. There was a salacious grin on her face as she whispered, "Something different," and leaned in to kiss me.


End file.
